Drunk Ex-Pastors

This episode of DXP is fraught with attacks: against how we pronounce stuff, what we listen to, what we write, etc. But as with most prophets and sages, we understand that we are bound to be under-appreciated by our own unworthy generation, yet we soldier on. We take calls about mixing booze with brain injuries, about the nature of fundamentalism as it relates to our über-chaste vice president, and then we discuss the recent woes of everyone’s favorite airline. We discuss the evangelical insistence that American Christians are being persecuted, after which we hear from a listener who is ready to put down Jason’s book after only reading one chapter. Lastly, we discuss whether believing in hell keeps people from thinking outside the box. Our “Dick Move, God” segment teaches us that theft in the name of the Lord is just fine; Christian is biebered by thanksgiving even though it’s Easter, and Jason’s bieber has to do with thinking more people care about him than actually do.

Also, Buttrock. It’s totally a thing.

Direct download: 2017_04_15_0145.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin episode #144 of Drunk Ex-Pastors by settling a long-brewing tech-related controversy (you’re welcome), after which we demonstrate just how secure we are by recommending our audience check out another podcast besides this one. We talk a bit about our concert experience the night before, which account takes a rather overt Shakespearian turn. We take callers’ questions about lying to our significant other, about height discrepancies in relationships, and about helping those who suffer. After our break we discuss Vice President Pence’s personal policy regarding sexual predators (read: women), and disagree somewhat on how we feel about it. Christian shares his Feeding Friendsy, which has to do with religious bubble-dwellers. Jason’s bieber focuses on ageism, while Christian is biebered by the five-oh.

Also, it’s weird how people who live in non-white countries are surrounded by minorities all the time, but seem totally fine with it.

Direct download: 2017_04_09_0144.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

Episode #143 of DXP begins with a discussion of the pros and cons of online dating. We talk about whether the old stigmas still apply, how to handle a bad first impression, and whether it’s harder for men or for women. We discuss our TV watching habits, after which we take a call from a listener who asks whether there is a grand conspiracy on the part of the secular media to cover up the evidence for God’s existence, and if so, does that mean that atheistic scientists are dishonest and suppressing truths they know deep down are real? We delve into some personal territory involving issues like co-habitation, marriage, and to what degree children should affect our decisions on these matters. Our “Feeding Friendsy” segment involves people who try to be openminded but can’t, and this week’s “Dick Move, God” introduces us to a guy who can’t help but feel he has been cruelly toyed with his whole life. Christian is biebered by climate change advocates and deniers, while Jason’s bieber involves having too many friends.

Also, never draw attention to a black man by following him around screaming about his race.

Direct download: 2017_04_02_0143.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

Episode #142 of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with a listener’s suggestion about a DXP pub meet-up, to which we respond by reminding everyone that in January we will be on a floating pub in the Caribbean Sea (also known as a “cruise ship”) and everyone’s invited. We then turn to spiritual themes, discussing whether prayer works, whether staying evangelical is worth it, and why God constantly tries to make us all atheists by pretending he doesn’t exist. Our Feeding Friendsy segment will almost make you want to start reading your Bible again; Jason is biebered by silence, while Christian’s bieber has to do with people who don’t suck enough.

Also, you have a 3-minute limit for voice mails. It’s not that hard.

Direct download: 2017_03_26_0142.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:46pm PDT

This episode of DXP begins with a caller ranting about how the earth is supposedly round, after which we announce that the DXP Cruise is actually happening! (Details provided.) We take a voicemail about unity coexisting with diversity, and then revisit our thought experiment about whether, in the face of some apocalyptic worldwide tragedy, the evidence for religion would eventually emerge the way scientific evidence would. We take another call that challenges Jason about whether he is just a deist, after which we get to our biebers: Jason is annoyed by what happens after he sits down, and Christian is biebered by having to be a grower.

Also, being a physics teacher at a Christian school sounds awesome.

Direct download: 2017_03_19_0141.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:50pm PDT

After beginning episode #140 with the realization that we may soon be receiving a human body part in the mail, we revisit (hopefully for the last time) the fact that there are “roundearthers” out there who actually deny that our planet is flat (people will believe just about anything it seems). We then discuss a listener’s challenge about whether or not both theists and atheists stack the deck against their opponents, after which we weigh in on the so-called “power of prayer” (does it help, and if not are we just doing it wrong?). This segues into the issue of comforting those who suffer, and the good and bad ways of doing that. Our “Dick Move, God” segment introduces us to a man whose daughter *wasn’t* killed in a religious war but who wishes she had been, and Christian’s bieber involves wanting more bodily fluids to be emitted on TV, while Jason’s has to do with the antiquated issue of long-distance charges.

Also, they send us a toe we’re supposed to shit ourselves with fear.

Direct download: 2017_03_11_0140.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:25pm PDT

We begin this episode of DXP with the admission that it is possible, albeit unlikely, that the earth is flat. We then delve into the issue of taking the Lord’s Name in vain, which that sentence may have done, after which we heal a listener’s marriage by explaining how to pronounce Feb-you-ary. We take a call about Christian’s agnosticism, which leads into a discussion about whether knowing stuff is overrated or not. After our break we embark on a lighthearted romp through the not-thorny-at-all issue of what actually constitutes pedophilia. We anticipate blowback on this. Christian’s “Feeding Friendsy” tackles the issue of whether Bernie Sanders wants The Islamic States of America, and he is biebered by having to sign his name so often.

Also, Milo is still a piece of shit.

Direct download: 2017_0305_0139.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:47pm PDT

We’re not gonna lie, our #138th episode of DXP is quite voicemail-heavy (Hey, lay off. We had been fighting. Plus, we love hearing from our peoples). We begin with a brief Trump voicemail and then move on toward ANOTHER nitpicky piece of crap reminder that Jason doesn’t know how to pronounce things. Christian is corrected about his fallacious views about Einstein, while another caller expresses heartfelt and poignant opinions about WTF? Some NBA player named after a Mr. Mister song? We address playing the piano, eating at Subway, and then hear from an honest-to-goodness therapist who weighs in on whether last week’s discussion about vulnerability was correct or not (although she may be hiding behind an attachment disorder due to unresolved daddy issues, we’re not sure). We revisit Milo Yiannopoulos very briefly, after which we launch into our “Feeding Friendsy” and “Dick Move, God” segments (Hitler was not a socialist, and gay rapists and virgin daughters don’t mix). Christian is biebered by small spaces, while Jason is biebered by Hollywood trying to be too Christian.

Also, if you’re a fan of our Lord, don’t name your baby after Him.

Direct download: 2017_02_24_0138.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:03pm PDT

Podcast #137: The One with No Trump and Tons of Therapy

Episode #137 begins with a listener’s challenge to go an entire show without mentioning D*n*ld Tr*mp, and believe it or not, we succeeded! We then reveal a bit about a new project we will soon embark upon (hint: it’s pretty much the best gift idea, like, EVER). We talk a bit about the nature of our discussions IRL and how they differ from those on the air, as well as about the value of constantly second-guessing ourselves. After our break we delve into mutual examination mode, with Christian diagnosing Jason as having jealousy and anger issues, and Jason diagnosing Christian as disproportionately desiring certainty in relationships. We spend a few minutes talking about Milo Yiannopoulos and whether people like him are even worth engaging, after which we share our biebers (Christian’s is about retirement funds, while Jason’s is about overly-excited audiences).

Also, Christian finished a whole book for the first time in years, in a single day! You’ll never guess who the author was….

Direct download: 2017_02_19_0137.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

Podcast #136: Piano, the Holocaust, and Twitter

Episode #136 begins with a caller’s attempt to put Jason in a moral dilemma, which fails because he doesn’t really pay attention to morals all that much. We then get marriage advice from a well-meaning listener and somehow find ourselves on a rabbit trail pertaining to the relationship between music and language. We weigh in on the current refugee crisis and tackle the conspiracy theory about Obama seeking to sabotage Trump (while kitesurfing in the Caribbean, apparently). We then heed the solemn warnings of the Holocaust Museum which basically call Trump Hitler 2.0. Christian’s “Feeding Friendsy” segment focuses on our president’s Twitter account, and meanwhile Jason is biebered by crap music producers, while Christian shares a listener’s bieber about traffic signals.

Also, just because Christian won’t gaymarry Jason, if Ryan Gosling were available then all bets may be off…

Direct download: 2017_02_11_0136.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:57pm PDT