Drunk Ex-Pastors

Episode #160 of DXP begins with what by all accounts is a pretty sweet celebrity voice impression. We then take a call from a listener who shares his personal experience with No One (he’s an atheist now), which leads to a lengthy discussion of the relationship between divine omnipotence and human responsibility (hey, we were drunk). We take three voicemails (three!) which, we think, have something to do with community or something. After mulling over the idea of actually starting a church, we launch into “Mansplaining Match” and “Messed-Up Math” (the former has to do with parents and the latter with threesomes). Jason takes a call about why he bothers being Catholic, after which our “True Bromance” segment features Christian reading a 1994 letter from Jason. Christian’s bieber has to do with bottoms, while Jason is biebered by an improper balance of quotation marks.

Also, we should TOTALLY start a church.

Direct download: 2017_07_25_0160.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:53pm PST

Episode #159 of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with a caller questioning Jason’s fashion sense and continues with a discussion about how many demons you get from doing yoga. We respond to some more pushback over our insistence that the Right is more overtly violent than the Left is, after which another listener expresses shock over Jason’s work ethic. Once we are sufficiently well-lubricated we weigh in on North Korea (you’re welcome), and Christian’s “Mansplaining Match” segment makes it clear that dating sites are not intended to help ladies find new dads for their children. WE take a call about facing adversity, and then get into our latest segment, “True Bromance,” during which Jason reads a letter Christian sent him 24 years ago (hilarity ensues). Christian is biebered by a certain lamely-spelled app, while Jason’s bieber questions what gluten ever did to anyone to deserve to be shunned the way it is lately.

Also, Manpris or Capros? You decide….

Direct download: 2017_07_23_0159.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PST

Episode #158 of DXP is a bit of a clusterf*ck: Not only was it delayed 24 hours due to both of us moving, but the tech issues when setting up to record were such that, well, it just doesn’t sound quite as good as it should. But as our delay demonstrated, you’re all addicted enough to this crackpipe of a show that you’ll give a bit of grace to get your fix. We begin with a voicemail from Omaha of all places, and then discuss our douchebag president’s douche son. Jason is challenged by a caller over whether the Right is more violent than the Left, and then we are both accused of alcoholism by another listener citing the CDC (but in our defense, we are apparently guilty of plenty of other “-isms” as well). Our “Mansplaining Match” segment helps women understand that their love of nature’s beauty plays no role in whether we find them so, and “Messed Up Math” explains to male 40-somethings that they’re basically pathetic and the last ones to get the joke. Finally, our “True Bromance” segment shows just how little Jason has changed over the past 20 years. Christian is biebered by his postal problems, while Jason’s bieber has to do with electricity taking itself too seriously.

Also, Schenectady is totally the new Omaha.

Direct download: 2017_07_17_0158.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:34am PST

We begin this episode by (re)visiting the bathroom, and specifically the issues of Euro-boobs and prickly women, after which one of us insists, without having been asked, that he is not an alcoholic. Christian’s “Mansplaining Match” segment cautions women about whom they include in their online dating profile pics, which springboards into one of Jason’s theories about female friendships in general (hint for the ladies: Don’t let your weight fluctuate too much or you’ll need to find a new group of friends). This week’s “True Bromance” portion of the show features Jason reading a letter sent to him by Christian in 1993, complete with Bible verses and everything. We discuss MMA and violence in general, and receive some pushback from the folks at the 30-Rockers podcast about our recent criticisms of the program. We briefly discuss whether one of us is more boastful about where he’s from than the other and whether it’s warranted (which it totally is), and lastly we consider John McEnroe’s recent controversial claims about men and women actually being different. Christian is biebered by being constantly beeped at, while Jason’s bieber has to do with white people.

Also, those *were* European shampoo commercials we were watching and not porn, right?

Direct download: 2017_07_08_0157.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:19pm PST

Episode #156 of DXP was REALLY fun to record, although chances are that neither of us remembers much of what was said (so to any nationalities, genders, races, or political persuasions we insulted, we apologize). After some initial discussion involving facial hair and bottle rockets we move into some touching territory wherein Christian reads aloud a letter (yes, letter) that Jason sent to him in 1994. We are pretty sure this will end up being a new segment since, after recording, Jason dug up around 20 old letters from Christian. So be prepared to see how frickin adorable our bromance is. Our “Mansplaining Match” segment helps women understand how not to make us exhausted before we’ve even met, and our “Messed Up Math” portion of the show relays the advantages of weight gain after falling in love rather than before. We read some of Trump’s tweets just for fun, after which Christian relays how biebering click-bait is, while Jason’s bieber has to do with the illusion of actually having a choice when we doesn’t.

Also, we’re both kinda nervous about this episode. Really….

Direct download: 2017_07_01_0156.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:05pm PST

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