Drunk Ex-Pastors (general)

DXP #227 begins with a message for “Hot Todd,” after which we respond to a follow-up question about relationships and personal change. We then learn from President Trump that, as it turns out, Stephen Colbert really does respect him after all. We consider a warning from Fox News about leftist violence, and then turn our attention to the issue of whether the world is better or worse than it used to be. Biebers involve online forms and gas pumps.  

Direct download: 2018_11_05_0227.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:56pm PST

We begin episode #226 by debriefing about our recent DXP BBQ in SoCal in order to make those who couldn’t come super jealous. Christian is forced to clarify his problem with hard-shell tacos (is it time to switch to tostadas?), after which we address whether it is wise to begin a relationship with the intent of changing the other person. We then discuss what practical effect, if any, the knowledge that the world is about to end would have upon our lives. Biebers involve shower handles and photo captions.

Direct download: 2018_10_30_0226.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:35pm PST

In a special throwback episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors, we revisit one of our listeners’ favorite segments, “Dick Move, God.” Join us as we transport ourselves back into some of the Bible’s more obscure stories and discover just how effed up the ramifications of God’s treatment of his people actually were. With loving Saviors like this….

Direct download: 2018_10_28_0225.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:58pm PST

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors we are asked by a caller about our parenting strategies during this #MeToo moment, and we take the opportunity to springboard into some broader, relationship-type topics. We take another call about our views of the enneagram personality test and whether it’s just some Christian Meyers-Briggs kind of thing. We suggest actually taking the enneagram test and each divulging the other’s results on air (but we will probably forget). Biebers involve GPS and email lists.

Direct download: 2018_10_21_0224.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:58pm PST

In episode #223 of DXP we are asked by a caller about whether we are comfortable calling one another out on our annoying issues (which is silly, because we’re both totally normal, well-adjusted people). After discussing relationships a bit we are asked about how comfortable we are with discussing sexual assault with out daughters. We then turn our discussion to the issue of consciousness and the human brain, which leads into all kinds of deep mystical crap. Biebers involve salsa and Internet access.

Direct download: 2018_10_12_0223.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:06pm PST

DXP #222 begins with our first ever attempt to call someone back because their voicemail was so confusing (the conversation that ensued was just a tad awkward). We discuss whether it’s still worthwhile to send kids to college, and take another call from a listener who can teach the rest of you a thing or two about using your allotted voicemail time efficiently. We then lament the confirmation of Brett Kavanaugh, disagreeing slightly over just how nihilistic and hopeless we should let ourselves become.

Direct download: 2018_10_06_0222.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PST

DXP #221 begins with a call from our (presumably) only Trump-voting listener, after which we discuss the new Netflix series, The First. We hear from our very first patron, and then discuss how much money we would bargain our souls for (unsurprisingly, Jason’s is on sale for quite cheap). After the break we discuss the Kavanaugh nomination (but since this episode was recorded a week ago our remarks will be somewhat outdated since news travels so fast these days). But either way, the dude is super shady.

Direct download: 2018_09_22_0221.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:37am PST

DXP #220 begins with a solemn voicemail from one of our most beloved characters. We then find ourselves getting rebuked for ignoring a listener’s question last week and talking about something else instead (which we are wont to do). We discuss the issue of body shaming and whether it’s wrong when Trump is the target (we’re cool with it), after which we address another listener’s question about whether he is spiritual or religious. We end the show discussing Chris Mooney’s book “The Republican Brain.”

Direct download: 2018_09_20_0220.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:37pm PST

DXP #219 represents what happens when we don’t have a whole lot of topics to address and instead just shoot the shit for a couple hours. We begin the show with a voicemail from a real-life Trump voter, which leads to a discussion of the recent Manafort plea and a foray into the world of FoxNews. Jason tells a story about his new job, and we get some marketing tips from another listener. Biebers involve hotel feng shui and afterschool pick-up lines.

Direct download: 2018_09_16_0219.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:08pm PST

Episode #218 begins with a new and potentially hilarious job prospect for Jason, after which we take a voicemail about the process of changing one’s mind (is it instantaneous or a process? Are certain types of people more averse to change than others?). We discuss the controversy surrounding Nike’s new ad campaign, and then take another call about whether it is necessary to root our good deeds in some religion or another. Biebers involve mobile devices and driving habits.

Direct download: 2018_09_08_0218.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:37pm PST

DXP #217 opens with a voicemail from Dick Bush about a new job prospect. We then hear from another caller challenging our position on racist jokes and on whether Trump supporters are themselves on the racism spectrum. We take a question from a new patron and self-proclaimed “worst Texan ever” about the #MeToo movement, and then discuss a recent study about how most people attempt to date “out of their league” (also, men are super shallow apparently). Biebers involve spouse-sharing and parking garages.

Direct download: 2018_09_02_0217.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:42pm PST

Episode #216 of DXP begins with a voicemail for the one of us who “has a real job.” We then talk a bit about future president Michael Avenatti, after which we play a voicemail about the film BlacKkKlansman. We spend some time breaking down the Asia Argento scandal and discuss what its ramifications are, if any, for the MeToo movement. This leads to a discussion about sexual abuse and power more generally, as well as whether gender is relevant. Biebers involve airports and axes.

Direct download: 2018_08_25_0216.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:25pm PST

We begin episode #215 of DXP with a voicemail from the wife of one of our most famous listeners. We then discuss the issue of race, and the new film BlacKkKlansman in particular. We spend a little while engaging in potty talk (literally), and then devote the bulk of the episode discussing the recent abuse scandal in the Catholic Church. Biebers involve salt and horrible neighbors (what’s the deal, is it a race thing? A political thing? A socio-economic issue? Why are Jason’s neighbors so awful?).

Direct download: 2018_08_18_0215.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:52pm PST

In DXP #214 we take a call from a listener who foolishly expects Jason to reconcile something he said in one episode with something he said in another (we don’t like being accountable for stuff). We discuss whether people are truly able to change, and then take up the issue of the various bases of discrimination (as in, can a diner refuse to serve mixed-race couples? Men in MAGA hats?). After following a rabbit trail about the Bible and the gays we share our biebers, which involve boats and elevators.

Direct download: 2018_08_11_0214.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:42pm PST

In this episode of DXP we discuss the conservative mindset in general and Christian’s recent date with a Trump-supporter in particular, seeking to understand the never-ending layers of conspiracy theories and confirmation bias. We address the issue of social media scrutiny as it applies to director James Gunn, and then hear from atheist Christopher Hitchens on the dangers of Christianity (which sparks a sharp disagreement among us). Biebers involve unoriginal music and unhelpful encouragement.

Direct download: 2018_08_04_0213.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:49pm PST

In this special episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors we welcome into the studio none other than the legend himself, Dick Bush (played by longtime DXP listener Chad Toney). Before the interview (which airs in the second half of the show), Jason and Christian discuss the various strongly-worded letters they have written to establishments that angered them, as well as answer a listener’s question about Satan’s agenda. Biebers involve aggressive drivers and annoying technology.   

Direct download: 2018_07_26_0212.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:31pm PST

In this episode of DXP we are challenged by a listener about our dismissal Of “Space Force,” after which we spend some time discussing “Drag Queen Story Hour” (which is pretty much exactly what it sounds like), wondering aloud whether we’d feel comfortable having our kids read to by crossdressers. We hear from one of our favorite callers, after which Feeding Friendsy returns and tackles the thorny issue of free speech on Facebook. Biebers involve fruit and things we just shouldn’t have anymore.  

Direct download: 2018_07_19_0211.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:09pm PST

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors we begin by shooting the breeze as usual, after which we discuss the issue of localism (as in, is it okay to hate newcomers to our communities for being new, or do we have to hate them for some other reason?). We then turn our attention, again, to the issue of relationships, discussing whether it is truly possible to redeem our past heartbreaks rather than seeing ourselves as simply damaged beyond repair. Bieber involve pizza and granola bars.

Direct download: 2018_07_11_0210.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:47pm PST

We begin episode #209 with a voicemail about how to pronounce things from a listener who comes from, ironically enough, Texas. We then hear from another caller who questions our judgment regarding talking about Chloe’s sex life in a public forum (she’s fine with it), after which we revisit the topic of sex and relationships. We visit a Trump rally and debate the issue of making space great again, after which we close with biebers about soccer (no, this one is not Jason’s) and bogus social media platforms.  

Direct download: 2018_07_07_0209.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:30pm PST

Episode #208 of DXP begins with a surprising voicemail during which we receive some important legal information. We then get into the fourth-of-July spirit by discussing the TV show 24 and how Jack Bauer is basically a war criminal who deserved all the tragedy he got. We spend the bulk of the episode talking about sex, and specifically how much detail we want our kids to go into when discussing their private lives with us. Biebers involve women’s dating expectations and the way old people pronounce things.

Direct download: 2018_06_30_0208.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:22pm PST

This episode of DXP begins with a caller doing his best “I can’t quit you” impression from that one gay cowboy movie, after which Jason tells about his near-death experience and the revenge he hopes to exact upon the perpetrator. We discuss the FLILF’s recent wardrobe choice, revisit the Chris Hardwick situation, and then take caller’s question about “paper abortion” which, apparently, is a thing. Biebers involve car fires and sunshine.

Direct download: 2018_06_23_0207.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:47pm PST

Episode #206 of DXP begins with a couple rather odd voicemails, after which we discuss the departure from social media of Kelly Marie Tran after committing the crime of ruining everyone’s childhood. We then address the recent allegations of emotional and sexual abuse against Chris Hardwick by his former girlfriend, Chloe Dykstra. We take a call about whether the Rosanne- and NFL issues are at all similar, after which we hear Trump acting like a dictator. Biebers involve bacon and cheerios.  

Direct download: 2018_06_16_0206.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:22pm PST

We begin this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors by discussing rape for some reason. We spend some time addressing the death of Anthony Bourdain, as well as suicide more broadly, tackling issues like mental health, the pressure of celebrity status, and whether we should avoid our sense of emptiness or embrace it. We then talk a bit about the show Vikings (which has Jason puzzled beyond belief). Biebers involve convenient parking and men’s hairstyles.

Direct download: 2018_06_09_0205.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:13pm PST

This episode of DXP begins with a caller asking one of the most flattering questions a Christian could ever hope for. We then relay a story about texting and driving (which apparently is just fine under the right circumstances), after which we discuss Roseanne Barr, Samantha Bee, and Hollywood in general. Our biebers focus on unnecessarily confusing timelines and why being full-figured is a problem for Jason.

Direct download: 2018_06_02_0204.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:55pm PST

We begin DXP #203 with a harrowing tale involving mysterious sounds and eventual death, and then attempt to provide a free tutorial on how to leave a voicemail. We discuss the looming conservative boycott of Netflix over former President Blackenstein’s new deal with the network, and then delve into the frightening world of that one Mexican gang from Honduras that no one’s ever heard of. We address the NFL anthem response and then move on to Biebers involving stupid expressions and winning arguments.

Direct download: 2018_05_26_0203.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:45pm PST

In this episode of DXP we address Fox News’s Jeanine Pirro and her praise of Donald Trump’s moving of the U.S. Embassy to Jerusalem, which leads to a discussion about Israel’s recent killing of 60 protesters in Gaza. We tackle the issue of liberal censorship (as in, should Spotify ban artists simply because they pee on their sex slaves?), and then talk about whether people should be fired for praying at work. Biebers involve podcast intros and garbage.

Direct download: 2018_05_20_0202.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:48pm PST

In this episode of DXP we get a congratulatory call from one of our favorite listeners whose question nearly dredges up some angry feelings. We reveal how irritable Jason is and how sensitive to this Christian is. We revisit our so-called fat-shaming from last episode, and take another call about why God only gets the credit for good things that happen without ever getting blamed for the bad. Biebers involve parking garages and chores. Also, if Gun & Roses ever needs to replace Axl, Jason is ready to go.

Direct download: 2018_05_12_0201.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:07pm PST

Can you believe we’ve done 200 of these things? In this episode we look back at how our lives have changed in the four years since we began this crazy project, as well as look ahead to determine just how long we can keep this thing going. We discuss whether comics get a pass for being politically incorrect, as well as break down a study that suggests that what you’re prejudiced against indicates how smart you are. But in all honesty, after doing an extra celebratory shot of Patron it’s all kind of a blur.

Direct download: 2018_05_05_0200.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:19pm PST

Episode #199 of Drunk Ex-Pastors explores the issue of why, when discussing Hollywood’s “liberal elite,” we are told that celebrities are idiots and their political opinions should be discounted, but then conservatives will cream themselves over Kanye West and Ted Nugent. We talk about the recent revelations concerning Sean Hannity, and end the show with biebers about spreadsheets and windshields.

Direct download: 2018_04_29_0199.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:11pm PST

Episode #198 of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with the opening of a listener’s gift (one guess what it contains), after which we offer our final comments (we promise) about the whole rocks-in-the-classroom idea. It’s not our fault, we swear—You people keep bringing it up. We hear a voicemail from a listener who is in distress about the state of his soul, which occasions a lengthy therapy session about the issue of crucifying the god who hates us. Biebers involve waist size and getting shot.

Direct download: 2018_04_22_0198.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:39pm PST

DXP #197 delves into some heavy territory. After yet another caller challenges our proposal to arm schoolchildren with rocks we discuss death and whether we are personally and professionally ready for it. We “pre-brief” a bit about our upcoming interview with scholar Bart Ehrman, leading to a discussion about (if Jesus never rose from the dead) what exactly happened to precipitate the emergence and eventual empire-wide conquest of Christianity. Biebers involve email chains and the apocalypse.

Direct download: 2018_04_10_0197.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PST

Episode #196 of DXP begins with Christian being challenged about his Old-Testament solution to school shootings as well as his douchey vacuuming practices. We then turn our attention to ‘80s icon Molly Ringwald’s recent piece in the New Yorker in which she revisits her prior films in the light of the #MeToo movement (turns out they’re fine). We discuss NRA member Ted Nugent’s recent remarks about the Parkland students’ protests, and biebers involve food ratios and servers who need to speak up.

Direct download: 2018_04_07_0196.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:25am PST

On DXP #195 we debrief together about the state of Christian’s new heart (what is A-Fib anyway? Can’t be too serious, right?). We also discuss the issue of community, and whether it is possible to truly have one in a post-church setting (we’re pretty sure the Elks Club isn’t taking new members). Our “Feeding Friendsy” segment reveals that there’s such a thing as a Triple Strawman, and biebers involve Costco and stupid kids these days.

Direct download: 2018_03_31_0195.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:50pm PST

DXP returns this week, and turns out we have a crap-ton of voicemails stacked up. We take calls (without having screened them first) about topics like why we’re so cold all the time, whether people are psychopaths by nature or through nurture, and what divine comfort really looks like. Christian’s “Feeding Friendsy” segment returns, which causes Jason to discover that he “has no problem with Hitler.” Biebers involve Family Ties and public transport etiquette.

Direct download: 2018_03_24_0194.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:59pm PST

This week’s episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors will take you on a walk down Memory Lane as we revisit a handful of our earliest biebers. Tune in and be reminded how annoyed we get at everything from football to death, progress to banks. And anyone remember that we used to violate all kinds of copyright laws with our musical outros?

Direct download: 2018_03_18_0193.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:00pm PST

Episode #192 of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with a voicemail from someone presuming to challenge Christian’s desire to go to prison, after which the conversation takes what Jason feels is a quite disturbing turn. We discuss Jackie Chan for some reason, and then take a call about the challenge of applying religion to child-raising. We quench the Holy Spirit by mocking certain types of miracles, and then get into a discussion about Hollywood, the Oscars, and race. Biebers involve Alexa and dead people.

Direct download: 2018_03_07_0192.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:52pm PST

Episode #191 of DXP begins with a solemn reminder of the death of an American icon, after which we give some advice concerning movie trailer protocol. We defend our position on comic book films, chat briefly about Christian’s obsession with guns, and then answer a question about whether God is a factor for us in overcoming difficulty and trauma. Biebers involve stacks of cash and whether Jason’s girlfriend should leave him for Ryan Gosling (she totally should).

Direct download: 2018_03_03_0191.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:52pm PST

Episode #190 of DXP begins with a call to prayer for Jesus’ servant, President Trump. We discuss the intrepid Florida legislature’s recent gun-control measures (oops, we mean porn-control measures), after which we dig deep into the minds of flat-earthers and other conspiracy theorists. Christian reinforces Jason’s biases against Black Panther, and biebers involve outdated tools and junk mail. Also, one of us is now either gay or merely attracted to men.

Direct download: 2018_02_24_0190.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:09pm PST

DXP #189 begins so mesmerizingly that your humble hosts forgot to say the Introduction (again). We discuss the fake Russia indictments that the fake news reports were handed down by the head of the fake investigation into Trump, after which we turn our attention to Mexico’s path to drug legalization. We weigh in on the recent school shooting in Florida, during which Jason shares his comprehensive gun-law plan that he thought of in the shower the other day. Biebers involve finger-food and pee.

Direct download: 2018_02_17_0189.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:34pm PST

Episode #188 of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with our revisiting some recently-discussed topics—we play a voicemail about the punishing of criminals, as well as one about pornography. We also welcome into the studio Marta, a close friend whose own journey led her to pursue sobriety a few years ago, and what better way to learn about this than to ask her questions about it while we drink whiskey? Biebers involve what to do with your hands during urination, and why Jesus wants to kill Jason.

Direct download: 2018_02_08_0188.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:51am PST

DXP #187 starts with Christian making fun of Jason for being old and grumpy, after which we discuss the issue of tipping restaurant workers and whether the practice should be perpetuated. We get a bit of push-back on our comments about Aziz Ansari, leading to a discussion about how severely a society should over-correct its mistakes, and then we talk about whether the death penalty actually lets some criminals off too easily. Lastly, biebers include putting stuff in your mouth and too much squealing.

Direct download: 2018_02_01_0187.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:11am PST

#186 of DXP begins with a caller criticizing Jason, but we honestly have no idea what the guy is talking about. We discuss our favorite TV shows and films (and if you’re not willing to watch The Wire after this, then there just may be no helping you). We address the Aziz Ansari controversy, and spit some truth y’all bitches may not like no-how (damn, now we’re even talking like the people on The Wire!). After discussing the recent “Monkey Ad” by H&M we move to biebers, which involve showers and traffic.

Direct download: 2018_01_26_0186.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PST

DXP #185 begins with a quick look at Pornhub’s Hawaiian stats during and after the missile scare, after which we are encouraged by a listener to be bigger trolls. We discuss our recent attempts to land the Biebs as a guest, and then take a call about whether having a positive attitude matters. We talk about atheist Penn Gillette’s recent appearance on HBO’s Crashing, weigh in on the now-infamous “bad date” with Aziz Ansari, and biebers involve comics and stools.

Direct download: 2018_01_20_0185.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:24pm PST

DXP #184 is a special flashback episode where we walk down Memory Lane and replay our first 10 biebers (which, in case you forgot, refers to small things that annoy us greatly). Enjoy the nostalgia, and be thankful that our sound quality has improved and doesn't suck as much as this kid's music does. Spread the word!

Direct download: 2018_01_14_0184.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:13pm PST

DXP #183 includes everything from celebrity death predictions to a discussion of the role of God, if any, in Christian’s “miraculously” healed heart. We read an email we received from a faith-based marketing firm and respond on the air, and then discuss whether society cedes too much significance to media. We spend the bulk of the episode in a therapy session of sorts, evaluating the popular idea that what we put out into the Universe is bound to come back to us. Biebers involve trash and dishwashers.

Direct download: 2018_01_03_0183.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:41am PST

DXP #182 begins with our last ever plug for our upcoming cruise, after which Jason receives some very helpful advice from a Mexican about—what else?—nachos. We then discuss the male struggle with body dysmorphia and how hard it is for men to live up to society’s unrealistic physical standards. We talk about some recent films we have seen, and then launch a brand new segment titled “Dispatches from the Crazy Train.” Biebers involve software notifications and YouTube.

Direct download: 2017_12_30_0182.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:22pm PST

Our Christmas episode begins with the topic of burritos (obviously), after which we hear from 1/3 of our South African audience. We discuss The Last Jedi and the Star Wars franchise in general, reflecting on whether it is even possible to evaluate these films objectively. We turn our attention to the topic of death for a few moments, and then weigh in on Trump’s Middle East policy and what the Bible has to say about it (turns out the Bible thinks he’s a moron). Biebers involve car doors and IT people.

Direct download: 2017_12_23_0181.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:43am PST

Episode #180 of DXP begins, we think, with a voicemail about how cold it is in our basement studio, but to be honest we were so cold we were barely paying attention. We hear from another listener about Christian’s (allegedly) inebriated condition during our last episode, and another about the use of alcohol among Bible-thumpers. We briefly touch upon Net Neutrality, and Jason receives some pushback about one of his previous biebers. Speaking of which, they’re about shooting stuff and burritos.

Direct download: 2017_12_15_0180.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PST

We begin DXP #179 by covering our bases and reading the sexual assault waiver that everyone going on the cruise will be forced to sign, after which we clear things up for our Patrons and Jason gets some feedback on his new podcast. We discuss the resignation of Al Franken and whether VP Mike Pence has been onto something all along, and then take a call about the role of Christians in politics (#TheologyNerdAlert). Biebers follow, focusing on release dates and getting wet.

Direct download: 2017_12_07_0179.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:50pm PST

Episode #178 of DXP begins with an example of fearless evangelism, after which your humble hosts weigh in on yet another topic about which we know very little: ADHD and the use of prescription meds in general. We meet Sophia, who may be artificial but is not intelligent, and then briefly discuss the new GOP tax bill. Christian shares some penetrating analysis from 1993 about the southern Californian church landscape, and biebers touch upon 12-packs and pizza.

Direct download: 2017_12_02_0178.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:32pm PST

DXP #177 begins with a disturbing diagnosis of deviant perversion, after which we hear from the Travel Guy himself (a “very unique” person indeed). We briefly discuss the leak of U2’s new album (Jason didn’t even bring it up, we swear!). We get a call from some cute girl who may or may not also be smart, and then hear from more listeners asking about monogamy, polyamory, and how they relate to sexual assault. A favorite segment is laid to rest, and biebers involve small fries and murder.

Direct download: 2017_11_25_0177.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:50pm PST

DXP #176 begins with a caller’s voter-suppression idea and continues with a couple voicemails about Louis CK. We evaluate the notion that a return to the ideal of traditional marriage would help solve the sexual assault problem. We briefly touch upon the Wikileaks/Don Jr. development and then move on to discuss whether the latest sexual assailant, Al Franken, should be lumped together with all the other ones. True Bromance will give you nightmares, and biebers involve obliviots and iPhones.

Direct download: 2017_11_19_0176.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:31pm PST

Episode #175 begins with a reminder of what A-holes we used to be and continues with voicemails about Jesus music, junk food, high prophets, and some helpful career advice. After our break we revisit the issue of female nudity in films and the objectification of women (due to which we will surely get ourselves into even more trouble), addressing the Kevin Spacey and Louis C.K. issues in particular. True Bromance gets apocalyptic, and biebers involve life in the fast lane and everybody Kung-Fu fighting.

Direct download: 2017_11_10_0175.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PST

Episode #174 of DXP originally included a whole bunch of Kevin Spacey crap which we deleted since we would have gotten in way too much trouble. We take a voicemail about a movie which leads into a discussion of the nature of the soul, and then briefly revisit the issue of objectification. Another caller presents himself as the perfect candidate for spiritual mentoring, and our True Bromance segment doesn’t disappoint. Biebers involve showers and tails (not the kind you’re thinking of).

Direct download: 2017_10_29_0174.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:23pm PST

DXP #173 starts with a discussion of how evolution is obviously from Satan, after which we discuss the new “Head Transplant” craze (could this be the way we finally become attractive?). We hear from completely level-headed and non-inflammatory NRA enthusiast Dana Lash, and take a call from a listener who kinda gets it when people call us misogynists. True Bromance shows us Christian’s sacrificial side, and we are biebered by how movies are so damn fake.

Also, are there ab transplants? Get on that, science.

Direct download: 2017_10_26_0173.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PST

This episode of DXP begins with some heartfelt encouragement from one of our favorite callers and then moves on to a voicemail from a listener who agrees with our call for massive voter suppression in this country. We receive a promise of patronage with some strings attached and mercifully (for your sakes) we turn it down. Another caller asks us about how we’d deal with having trans kids (we’d probably still love them), and then we address some pushback we got from our last episode’s remarks about Harvey Weinstein, dealing with questions like whether it is sexual objectification to like seeing boobies. Our “True Bromance” segment shifts gears this week, with Jason allowing Christian to read portions of his journal aloud while mocking him, which segues into a lengthy discussion about relationships and loneliness. Christian is biebered by the discomfort he feels while eating tacos (!), while Jason’s bieber has to do with dogs and the people who own them.

Also, did we mention the tuh-tays?

Direct download: 2017_10_21_0172.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:34pm PST

Episode #171 of DXP is a bit of a disaster. Well, maybe it’s not too bad, but it was recorded a day late, way too early in the day, with minimal liquor, and with one of us feeling like he’d recently had open-heart surgery or something. Anyway, we begin the episode by lamenting how damn cold it was down in that subterranean bunker we call a basement, after which we turn our attention to Hollywood’s very own sexual predator, Harvey Weinstein. After listening to a recording of him attempting to coax a young woman into his hotel room, and after making it clear that we think he is a total pig, we discuss the complexities of power in cases like this: If it is consensual is it still wrong? What role does “innocent until proven guilty” play? After our break we discuss Trump’s recent insistence that the outright persecution of those holding Judeo-Christian values in this country has to stop (insert eyeroll here), and then we take a couple voicemails about such topics as family/social-media dynamics and Slim Jims. Jason is biebered by restaurant furniture, while Christian’s bieber has to do with wasting time on television (not people wasting time watching it, because that would be ridiculous. It’s something else).

Also, “All Holidays Matter.”

Direct download: 2017_10_15_0171.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:33pm PST

Episode #170 of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with a heartfelt plea to change a minor detail about our show, which only confirms for us the need to keep things exactly as they are. We then seek to clarify, again, our use of the phrase “easier said than done,” which is easier said than done. We turn our attention to the “price of freedom,” otherwise known as the largest mass shooting in modern American history, discussing such topics as “Why doesn’t freedom cost this much in any other free country?”, and “Is it disingenuous for gun-rights advocates to ask for suggestions to heal this epidemic?” After our break we go into our “True Bromance” segment in which Christian reveals how he really feels (or used to feel) about Jason’s religion. Christian is biebered by desperately needing an item which could make Jason rich if he weren’t so lazy, while Jason’s bieber betrays just how metro he really is.

Also, One of us apologizes in advance for how mad he is about this whole gun thing. Seriously.

Direct download: 2017_10_07_0170.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:35pm PST

Episode #169 of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with our usual banter and shot (singular this time because, apparently, liquor and Oxycodone don’t mix that well [who knew?]), after which Jason is challenged about his insistence that “Easier said than done” actually applies to literally everything. We take a call from a listener making the absurd suggestion that trucks should not be passed on the right, after which a voicemail from one of our favorite fans gives Christian the chance to give us a debrief on his recent heart surgery. After our break we discuss the life and death of Hugh Hefner, wondering aloud whether he and the industry he helped create is exploitative of women, or just awesome. Our True Bromance segment displays Christian’s former zeal for holiness and gives rise to a discussion about whether people who are still that zealous after all these years are just faking it. Christian is biebered by old people’s listening skills, while Jason is biebered by the implicit message behind being given a Kleenex.

Also, truckers should totally have their own schools and drinking fountains.

Direct download: 2017_09_30_0169.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:41pm PST

Episode #168 of DXP was recorded a couple nights before Christian went under the knife, but will be released just after his heart surgery (meaning these may be the last words from him you’ll ever hear if God decides to ignore your prayers and kill him for no reason). We explore the topic of what we are to think about white teenage girls singing along with hip hop music (does it mitigate their feminism?); we discuss Colin Kaepernick’s protest against racism and brutality and whether a boycott of the NFL is in order (as if anyone would actually do it). Our “True Bromance” segment returns in the form of a letter from Christian to Jason from 1993 in which we learn, among other things, why French Toast tastes so good, and our “Feeding Friendsy” segment touches upon the nature of coincidences. Jason is biebered by being conned by con movies, while Christian’s bieber is about little things that annoy him greatly.

Also, seriously: Don’t take away Christian’s heroin.

Direct download: 2017_09_18_0168.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PST

Episode #167 of Drunk Ex-Pastors finds us both home from vacation (Christian from Mexico and Jason from Europe). After catching up a bit with one another about our time apart (who, us with mutual attachment disorders?), we talk about the recent hurricane in Texas, the victims of which evangelist Joel Osteen decided not to help (our take on this may surprise you). We then begin to experience numerous technical difficulties including batteries dying, damsels calling in distress, a power outage, and a poorly timed rock show. Our “Mansplaining Match” segment focuses on overly narcissistic selfies, “True Bromance” features Christian straight-up preaching at Jason about female beauty, and “Feeding Friendsy” involves missing the forest for the cheerleaders. Jason is biebered by airline protocol, while Christian’s bieber has to do with coppertops.

Also, pig valves. That’s still a thing, right?

Direct download: 2017_09_16_0167.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:41pm PST

This is the description you get when Jason is in Europe and Christian has to write the description and has better things to do with his short life.

Direct download: 2017_08_28_0166.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PST

This episode of DXP was recorded just as the Mayweather/McGregor fight was getting underway, so we begin the show mocking the sport of boxing, crapping all over the hype leading up to the fight, and otherwise insulting millions of boxing fans. Then on a serious note, Christian shares a bit about his upcoming open-heart surgery while Jason begins to seriously reconsider the whole death-pact thing (according to which if either dies the other must immediately kill himself). We then discuss the recent comments by director James Cameron about the Wonder Woman movie and whether it was the “setback” for feminists that he claimed it to be. We learn in our “Mansplaining Match” segment that there are certain things that can’t be unseen. Christian reads some old emails from Jason for our “True Bromance” portion of the show, and finally, Christian is biebered by hoity-toity movie food, while Jason’s bieber has to do with noise pollution.

Also, boxing? Not that hard.

Direct download: 2017_08_26_0165.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PST

Our latest episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with a caller pleading with us for more decorum, as though “pissing everyone off” were a new thing for us. We take a couple calls about alt-right (read, “neo-Nazi”) protesters and the Antifa movement, after which we hear an interesting and pretty compelling case for NOT removing Civil War monuments from southern parks. Our “Mansplaining Match” segment devolves into the photography habits of Mexicans, and we delve a bit into the topic of reincarnation because why not? Our “True Bromance” segment features a letter written by Christian to Jason that was never sent, meaning that Jason got to read it for the first time 20+ years after it was written. Jason is biebered by his autonomy being commandeered, while Christian’s bieber is so first-world it’s not even funny. It is pretty funny though.

Also, “you got a spider on your tip.”

Direct download: 2017_08_24_0164.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:21pm PST

We begin this episode of DXP in a severe state of melancholy, bitching and moaning for about 15 minutes over how crap our days were and how life sucks in general. Christian then recounts his recent run-ins with two different salesmen (one tried to sell him a garage door, the other a trunk-full of meat. We’ll let you guess which one was successful). We revisit the trans people in sports issue, after which we discuss the recent events in Berlin in 1934 (oh wait, it was in Virginia a couple weeks ago. Sorry about that, I keep getting those two eras confused). After delving into the psyches of these alt-right Nazi protesters we move into our True Bromance segment in which Jason receives quite the dressing-down from Christian via a letter from 1993. Both our biebers have to do with cars: one involving where they park and the other where they drive.

Also, Serge’s espresso with a lemon twist is good, you should try it.

Direct download: 2017_08_19_0163.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:41am PST

Episode #162 begins with a voicemail from a caller who is embarrassed at having left us a voicemail, after which we explain that there’s a space-time continuum (which is why we blasted John McCain BEFORE he shot down the GOP’s healthcare bill, but that episode was released AFTERWARDS). We hear from another caller who can’t believe the kinds of things Christian used to do with his wife, as well as from someone weighing in on that awesome ‘90s movie starring Sinbad where he played a genie (you remember that one, right? Of course you do). We are challenged on our recent statements about trans people in sports, after which our “Mansplaining Match” segment seeks to save women a ton of money (you’re welcome). “True Bromance” features a letter Jason wrote to Christian in 1994 which proves that the former ended up with the latter’s true calling. We discuss the difference between Trump and Jesus in our “Feeding Friendsy,” after which we move on to biebers: Christian’s has to do with buffets and Jason’s with visiting the bathroom after the buffet.

Also, damn that Shazaam movie was good, right?

Direct download: 2017_08_12_0162.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:06pm PST

We begin this episode with Christian relaying his experience with Virtual Reality goggles, which quickly turns into a plan to build a VR sex dungeon in his basement (pics to follow, stay tuned). Our "Mansplaining Match" segment tries to help women realize that ducks don't necessarily have the hottest faces, but that human ones are just fine. We take a call about whether trans people ought to be treated according to their preferred gender always or just sometimes, and we weigh in on our Clown-in-Chief's tweets regarding transgender people serving in the military. "True Bromance" continues, this time with Jason reading a 24 year-old letter from his cohost in which the latter displays his Jedi mind trick skills with the ladies. Christian is biebered by just about everything that takes place while he's behind the wheel, while Jason's bieber has to do with size mattering.

Also, the women's tennis tour is about to get much more challenging....

Direct download: 2017_07_29_0161.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PST

Episode #160 of DXP begins with what by all accounts is a pretty sweet celebrity voice impression. We then take a call from a listener who shares his personal experience with No One (he’s an atheist now), which leads to a lengthy discussion of the relationship between divine omnipotence and human responsibility (hey, we were drunk). We take three voicemails (three!) which, we think, have something to do with community or something. After mulling over the idea of actually starting a church, we launch into “Mansplaining Match” and “Messed-Up Math” (the former has to do with parents and the latter with threesomes). Jason takes a call about why he bothers being Catholic, after which our “True Bromance” segment features Christian reading a 1994 letter from Jason. Christian’s bieber has to do with bottoms, while Jason is biebered by an improper balance of quotation marks.

Also, we should TOTALLY start a church.

Direct download: 2017_07_25_0160.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:53pm PST

Episode #159 of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with a caller questioning Jason’s fashion sense and continues with a discussion about how many demons you get from doing yoga. We respond to some more pushback over our insistence that the Right is more overtly violent than the Left is, after which another listener expresses shock over Jason’s work ethic. Once we are sufficiently well-lubricated we weigh in on North Korea (you’re welcome), and Christian’s “Mansplaining Match” segment makes it clear that dating sites are not intended to help ladies find new dads for their children. WE take a call about facing adversity, and then get into our latest segment, “True Bromance,” during which Jason reads a letter Christian sent him 24 years ago (hilarity ensues). Christian is biebered by a certain lamely-spelled app, while Jason’s bieber questions what gluten ever did to anyone to deserve to be shunned the way it is lately.

Also, Manpris or Capros? You decide….

Direct download: 2017_07_23_0159.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PST

Episode #158 of DXP is a bit of a clusterf*ck: Not only was it delayed 24 hours due to both of us moving, but the tech issues when setting up to record were such that, well, it just doesn’t sound quite as good as it should. But as our delay demonstrated, you’re all addicted enough to this crackpipe of a show that you’ll give a bit of grace to get your fix. We begin with a voicemail from Omaha of all places, and then discuss our douchebag president’s douche son. Jason is challenged by a caller over whether the Right is more violent than the Left, and then we are both accused of alcoholism by another listener citing the CDC (but in our defense, we are apparently guilty of plenty of other “-isms” as well). Our “Mansplaining Match” segment helps women understand that their love of nature’s beauty plays no role in whether we find them so, and “Messed Up Math” explains to male 40-somethings that they’re basically pathetic and the last ones to get the joke. Finally, our “True Bromance” segment shows just how little Jason has changed over the past 20 years. Christian is biebered by his postal problems, while Jason’s bieber has to do with electricity taking itself too seriously.

Also, Schenectady is totally the new Omaha.

Direct download: 2017_07_17_0158.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:34am PST

We begin this episode by (re)visiting the bathroom, and specifically the issues of Euro-boobs and prickly women, after which one of us insists, without having been asked, that he is not an alcoholic. Christian’s “Mansplaining Match” segment cautions women about whom they include in their online dating profile pics, which springboards into one of Jason’s theories about female friendships in general (hint for the ladies: Don’t let your weight fluctuate too much or you’ll need to find a new group of friends). This week’s “True Bromance” portion of the show features Jason reading a letter sent to him by Christian in 1993, complete with Bible verses and everything. We discuss MMA and violence in general, and receive some pushback from the folks at the 30-Rockers podcast about our recent criticisms of the program. We briefly discuss whether one of us is more boastful about where he’s from than the other and whether it’s warranted (which it totally is), and lastly we consider John McEnroe’s recent controversial claims about men and women actually being different. Christian is biebered by being constantly beeped at, while Jason’s bieber has to do with white people.

Also, those *were* European shampoo commercials we were watching and not porn, right?

Direct download: 2017_07_08_0157.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:19pm PST

Episode #156 of DXP was REALLY fun to record, although chances are that neither of us remembers much of what was said (so to any nationalities, genders, races, or political persuasions we insulted, we apologize). After some initial discussion involving facial hair and bottle rockets we move into some touching territory wherein Christian reads aloud a letter (yes, letter) that Jason sent to him in 1994. We are pretty sure this will end up being a new segment since, after recording, Jason dug up around 20 old letters from Christian. So be prepared to see how frickin adorable our bromance is. Our “Mansplaining Match” segment helps women understand how not to make us exhausted before we’ve even met, and our “Messed Up Math” portion of the show relays the advantages of weight gain after falling in love rather than before. We read some of Trump’s tweets just for fun, after which Christian relays how biebering click-bait is, while Jason’s bieber has to do with the illusion of actually having a choice when we doesn’t.

Also, we’re both kinda nervous about this episode. Really….

Direct download: 2017_07_01_0156.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:05pm PST

DXP #155 begins with a call from a southern listener who simultaneously bemoans and reinforces all the reasons we mock the South, after which we discuss just how black you have to be to be licensed to use the N-word (All? Half? 25%?). In our “Mansplaining Match” segment, Christian helps hapless women navigate the issue of dating profile pics, after which things take a somewhat depressing and morbid turn as we discuss heartbreak, capital punishment for sociopaths, suicide, and whether video games make kids violent. Jason is biebered by his state’s traffic laws, while Christian’s bieber has to do with something he has done, on average, like twice a year for his entire sad life.

Also, our sense is that “mulattoes” is no longer a thing, but we can’t pinpoint how we know that.

Direct download: 2017_06_25_0155.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:05pm PST

DXP #154 begins with some clarification over ‘90s bands and vocab, after which we take a call that demonstrates just how entitled and technologically inept we really are. We then are asked about the censorship of transgender boobs, which leads us into all manner of personal divulgences from nipple tweaking to masturbating on buses. Once again, Christian mansplains Match.com, focusing on profile pics and what they should include and exclude. In our “Messed-Up Math” segment, Jason outlines the unfortunate formula according to which a man’s cautionary tale becomes his goal. We get an interesting question (even though it’s from the 909) about whether being predisposed to seeing miracles helps people see them and vice versa, as well as voicemails about the treatment public figures receive in response to controversial behavior, why people think the English language is in danger, and whether it’s fair to say that conservatives are more violent than liberals (given recent events). Jason’s bieber is leading him to smoking in enclosed public places, while Christian is biebered by Jason.

Also, there’s just a LOT of nipple in this one.

Direct download: 2017_06_18_0154.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:28pm PST

We begin DXP #153 with some pushback against how we do cultural appropriation, after which we hear thoughts from the former Mexican president about our current one. A caller urges us to start our own church, which we seriously consider for three seconds, after which another listener seeks to put a new song in Christian’s heart. We begin a new segment titled “Mansplaining Match,” during which Christian seeks to help women with their online dating profiles. Another new segment is debuted called “Messed Up Math,” which highlights just how unfair this world is for women. We briefly discuss the phenomenon that is Wonder Woman, which Jason has no patience for, after which we listen in as two famous black guys interview the inventor of the alt-right (plenty of awkward silences ensue). Speaking of awkward racial stuff, we discuss Bill Maher’s apology for dropping the N-bomb, after which the C-word is used toward one of us by an irate caller. Jason is biebered by people who can’t just get over the whole incest thing, while Christian’s bieber has to do with the hassle of eating certain things.

Also, the formula is simple: Pussy plus Time over Income squared.

Direct download: 2017_06_11_0153.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:15pm PST

DXP #152 begins with a lesson in political correctness (who knew that the proper term for midgets is not “People McNuggets”?). We then take a series of voicemails on topics ranging from whether pastors need to pay taxes, what kinds of tattoos we have, and what parenting advice we offer. We spend a fair bit of time talking about black people: Do white people think all black people are pretty much the same, or do they differ based on where they live like white people do? Are black people more easily offended than whites? And is it OK to use the N-word in a joking manner (the way Bill Maher did this week). Our “Dick Move, God” segment introduces us to a poor bastard who got an invite to what he was told was a party, but turns out it was hell (easy mistake). And both of our biebers have to do with paper in our hands.

Also, they have black people in Iowa?

Direct download: 2017_06_03_0152.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:25pm PST

Episode #151 of DXP begins with a voicemail from some joker who expects us to believe he just knows how to spell “sesquicentennial” (but the joke’s on him because Google search results). We then take a very confusing call about “the Game” and how we’ve not only lost it, but have caused countless others to lose it as well (including all of you, as you will discover forthwith). We spend a few moments mocking Trump, both for his leakage as well as for his praise of brutal dictators. We hear from a listener who suggests that the only way to see a ghost is to first believe in them, which causes us to wonder whether this works in the other direction as well (as in, does disbelieving in ghosts make them refuse to appear to you?). We end the show by talking about health care and mutually assured destruction (which sounds like a good idea, except Trump). Christian is biebered by outdated technology, while Jason is biebered by technology that keeps yelling at him.

Also, haha. “Leakage.”

Direct download: 2017_05_24_0151.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PST

Our 150th episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with a voicemail from some girl who’s begging for forgiveness for getting mad at Jason for calling girls “girls” (kidding aside, it was very sweet). We then open a package on the air that basically establishes our feminist street cred, after which we discuss what TV shows we’ve been watching (turns out, The Handmaid’s Tale is only “fiction” if Trump’s presidency ends real soon-like). We take a call about how we mitigate our fear of flying (hashtag, drugs), take another about whether believers are consistent about the whole total depravity thing, and then respond to another listener’s question about why Christian conservatives hate the “life” part of the Constitution’s thing about those inalienable rights our Creator supposedly endowed us all with. After our break we take another voice mail about whether ghosts are real, delving into the question of if there is more to us than our mere physical bodies, and if so, whether we can be visited from the great beyond. Jason is biebered by inconsistent menus, while Christian’s bieber has to do with ironically good acting.

Also, Blessed be the Fruit.

Direct download: 2017_05_21_0150.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:48am PST

Episode #149 of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with a voicemail from a guy from the nicest nation on Earth, after which we briefly revisit the topic of hell (Jason thinks the idea that it is needed in order to keep people in line is mostly crap). We discuss the push-back over Christian thoughts on Artificial Intelligence, drawing from our vast knowledge of sci-fi films to set the record straight. We take a call about the healthcare debate, and then hear from a real-life Trump supporter who, as a white male (gasp!), thinks people need to stop being so sensitive and offended all the time. We hear from more listeners who bring up whether marriage is worth fighting for, whether sharing our personal beliefs is important, and why only our culture chooses the right animals to eat. Christian is biebered by the housing market, while Jason’s bieber focuses on ice.

Also, 4 year-olds with mustaches? Shudder.

Direct download: 2017_05_13_0149.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:21pm PST

Episode #148 of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with the usual banter, this time involving Christian coming out of the closet, whether we get drunk enough on the show, and a story from Jason about this old Indian with the most random bigotry ever. We take a couple calls that help us lay to rest the “girls” vs. “women” debate, after which we revisit the issue of hell (it’s been a while), and specifically whether our notion of justice demands some sort of system of retribution and rewards when all is said and done. We address the House’s recent “healthcare” bill and what supporting it says about a person (hint: they’re either evil or just dumb). Lastly, our “Dick Move, God” segment highlights the demise of a Father/Son business that initially showed such promise. Christian is biebered by some city that ancient Hebrews decimated, while Jason’s bieber has to do with having to finish the job that his server started.

Also, the frickin Irish, am I right? 

Direct download: 2017_05_06_0148.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:02pm PST

We begin episode #147 of Drunk Ex-Pastors with a call from a slightly inebriated listener whom Christian inadvertently caused to have a very uncomfortable conversation with his grandmother. We correct the inventor of the gif on how to pronounce gif, and then hear from resident millennial snowflake “Dallas,” who displays sufficient contrition over misdefining butt-rock that we hereby absolve him. We then revisit (hopefully for the last time) the issue of referring to chicks as “girls” — in a nutshell, Jason responds to those who he feels criticized him too harshly, insisting that no, he doesn’t “hate women.” Then in a display of delicious irony, Christian spends the rest of the episode exhibiting the very hate that Jason is accused of. We spend a few moments congratulating ourselves on our grammar, and discuss Ann Coulter’s aborted speech at Berkeley. Christian is biebered by ingredients, while Jason’s bieber has to do with dieting.

Also, “colon-rock” is now a thing. Tell your friends.

Direct download: 2017_04_29_0147.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:31pm PST

We begin our latest episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors by noting a drastic change in Jason’s daughter and the discovery of Christian’s dead dog. We then take a call from an entitled millennial snowflake who presumes to correct us about the nature of butt-rock. We take the opportunity to school this whippersnapper and, by extension, his entire ill-informed Johnny-come-lately generation. This leads us into an unplanned discussion about the issue of nostalgia and whether it is a healthy indulgence or not. We take a call from a girl who challenges us, again, about whether it’s OK to call girls “girls” when in reality they’re full-grown girls. This leads us naturally into a breakdown of the North Korea situation, as well as a conversation about whether people on the Right are more tribal than those on the Left (they are). Finally, Christian is biebered by having gas. I mean, having to get gas.

Also, is that Freedom Rock? Well turn it up, man!

Direct download: 2017_04_22_0146.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:06pm PST

This episode of DXP is fraught with attacks: against how we pronounce stuff, what we listen to, what we write, etc. But as with most prophets and sages, we understand that we are bound to be under-appreciated by our own unworthy generation, yet we soldier on. We take calls about mixing booze with brain injuries, about the nature of fundamentalism as it relates to our über-chaste vice president, and then we discuss the recent woes of everyone’s favorite airline. We discuss the evangelical insistence that American Christians are being persecuted, after which we hear from a listener who is ready to put down Jason’s book after only reading one chapter. Lastly, we discuss whether believing in hell keeps people from thinking outside the box. Our “Dick Move, God” segment teaches us that theft in the name of the Lord is just fine; Christian is biebered by thanksgiving even though it’s Easter, and Jason’s bieber has to do with thinking more people care about him than actually do.

Also, Buttrock. It’s totally a thing.

Direct download: 2017_04_15_0145.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PST

We begin episode #144 of Drunk Ex-Pastors by settling a long-brewing tech-related controversy (you’re welcome), after which we demonstrate just how secure we are by recommending our audience check out another podcast besides this one. We talk a bit about our concert experience the night before, which account takes a rather overt Shakespearian turn. We take callers’ questions about lying to our significant other, about height discrepancies in relationships, and about helping those who suffer. After our break we discuss Vice President Pence’s personal policy regarding sexual predators (read: women), and disagree somewhat on how we feel about it. Christian shares his Feeding Friendsy, which has to do with religious bubble-dwellers. Jason’s bieber focuses on ageism, while Christian is biebered by the five-oh.

Also, it’s weird how people who live in non-white countries are surrounded by minorities all the time, but seem totally fine with it.

Direct download: 2017_04_09_0144.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PST

Episode #143 of DXP begins with a discussion of the pros and cons of online dating. We talk about whether the old stigmas still apply, how to handle a bad first impression, and whether it’s harder for men or for women. We discuss our TV watching habits, after which we take a call from a listener who asks whether there is a grand conspiracy on the part of the secular media to cover up the evidence for God’s existence, and if so, does that mean that atheistic scientists are dishonest and suppressing truths they know deep down are real? We delve into some personal territory involving issues like co-habitation, marriage, and to what degree children should affect our decisions on these matters. Our “Feeding Friendsy” segment involves people who try to be openminded but can’t, and this week’s “Dick Move, God” introduces us to a guy who can’t help but feel he has been cruelly toyed with his whole life. Christian is biebered by climate change advocates and deniers, while Jason’s bieber involves having too many friends.

Also, never draw attention to a black man by following him around screaming about his race.

Direct download: 2017_04_02_0143.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PST

Episode #142 of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with a listener’s suggestion about a DXP pub meet-up, to which we respond by reminding everyone that in January we will be on a floating pub in the Caribbean Sea (also known as a “cruise ship”) and everyone’s invited. We then turn to spiritual themes, discussing whether prayer works, whether staying evangelical is worth it, and why God constantly tries to make us all atheists by pretending he doesn’t exist. Our Feeding Friendsy segment will almost make you want to start reading your Bible again; Jason is biebered by silence, while Christian’s bieber has to do with people who don’t suck enough.

Also, you have a 3-minute limit for voice mails. It’s not that hard.

Direct download: 2017_03_26_0142.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:46pm PST

This episode of DXP begins with a caller ranting about how the earth is supposedly round, after which we announce that the DXP Cruise is actually happening! (Details provided.) We take a voicemail about unity coexisting with diversity, and then revisit our thought experiment about whether, in the face of some apocalyptic worldwide tragedy, the evidence for religion would eventually emerge the way scientific evidence would. We take another call that challenges Jason about whether he is just a deist, after which we get to our biebers: Jason is annoyed by what happens after he sits down, and Christian is biebered by having to be a grower.

Also, being a physics teacher at a Christian school sounds awesome.

Direct download: 2017_03_19_0141.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:50pm PST

After beginning episode #140 with the realization that we may soon be receiving a human body part in the mail, we revisit (hopefully for the last time) the fact that there are “roundearthers” out there who actually deny that our planet is flat (people will believe just about anything it seems). We then discuss a listener’s challenge about whether or not both theists and atheists stack the deck against their opponents, after which we weigh in on the so-called “power of prayer” (does it help, and if not are we just doing it wrong?). This segues into the issue of comforting those who suffer, and the good and bad ways of doing that. Our “Dick Move, God” segment introduces us to a man whose daughter *wasn’t* killed in a religious war but who wishes she had been, and Christian’s bieber involves wanting more bodily fluids to be emitted on TV, while Jason’s has to do with the antiquated issue of long-distance charges.

Also, they send us a toe we’re supposed to shit ourselves with fear.

Direct download: 2017_03_11_0140.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:25pm PST

We begin this episode of DXP with the admission that it is possible, albeit unlikely, that the earth is flat. We then delve into the issue of taking the Lord’s Name in vain, which that sentence may have done, after which we heal a listener’s marriage by explaining how to pronounce Feb-you-ary. We take a call about Christian’s agnosticism, which leads into a discussion about whether knowing stuff is overrated or not. After our break we embark on a lighthearted romp through the not-thorny-at-all issue of what actually constitutes pedophilia. We anticipate blowback on this. Christian’s “Feeding Friendsy” tackles the issue of whether Bernie Sanders wants The Islamic States of America, and he is biebered by having to sign his name so often.

Also, Milo is still a piece of shit.

Direct download: 2017_0305_0139.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:47pm PST

We’re not gonna lie, our #138th episode of DXP is quite voicemail-heavy (Hey, lay off. We had been fighting. Plus, we love hearing from our peoples). We begin with a brief Trump voicemail and then move on toward ANOTHER nitpicky piece of crap reminder that Jason doesn’t know how to pronounce things. Christian is corrected about his fallacious views about Einstein, while another caller expresses heartfelt and poignant opinions about WTF? Some NBA player named after a Mr. Mister song? We address playing the piano, eating at Subway, and then hear from an honest-to-goodness therapist who weighs in on whether last week’s discussion about vulnerability was correct or not (although she may be hiding behind an attachment disorder due to unresolved daddy issues, we’re not sure). We revisit Milo Yiannopoulos very briefly, after which we launch into our “Feeding Friendsy” and “Dick Move, God” segments (Hitler was not a socialist, and gay rapists and virgin daughters don’t mix). Christian is biebered by small spaces, while Jason is biebered by Hollywood trying to be too Christian.

Also, if you’re a fan of our Lord, don’t name your baby after Him.

Direct download: 2017_02_24_0138.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:03pm PST

Podcast #137: The One with No Trump and Tons of Therapy

Episode #137 begins with a listener’s challenge to go an entire show without mentioning D*n*ld Tr*mp, and believe it or not, we succeeded! We then reveal a bit about a new project we will soon embark upon (hint: it’s pretty much the best gift idea, like, EVER). We talk a bit about the nature of our discussions IRL and how they differ from those on the air, as well as about the value of constantly second-guessing ourselves. After our break we delve into mutual examination mode, with Christian diagnosing Jason as having jealousy and anger issues, and Jason diagnosing Christian as disproportionately desiring certainty in relationships. We spend a few minutes talking about Milo Yiannopoulos and whether people like him are even worth engaging, after which we share our biebers (Christian’s is about retirement funds, while Jason’s is about overly-excited audiences).

Also, Christian finished a whole book for the first time in years, in a single day! You’ll never guess who the author was….

Direct download: 2017_02_19_0137.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PST

Podcast #136: Piano, the Holocaust, and Twitter

Episode #136 begins with a caller’s attempt to put Jason in a moral dilemma, which fails because he doesn’t really pay attention to morals all that much. We then get marriage advice from a well-meaning listener and somehow find ourselves on a rabbit trail pertaining to the relationship between music and language. We weigh in on the current refugee crisis and tackle the conspiracy theory about Obama seeking to sabotage Trump (while kitesurfing in the Caribbean, apparently). We then heed the solemn warnings of the Holocaust Museum which basically call Trump Hitler 2.0. Christian’s “Feeding Friendsy” segment focuses on our president’s Twitter account, and meanwhile Jason is biebered by crap music producers, while Christian shares a listener’s bieber about traffic signals.

Also, just because Christian won’t gaymarry Jason, if Ryan Gosling were available then all bets may be off…

Direct download: 2017_02_11_0136.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:57pm PST

Podcast #135: Trump and Christianity

This episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with a feel-good voicemail, and then we introduce our new venture, the DXP Mediacast (hint, watch the movie About Time. Then watch Chef). We spend some time breaking down the poignant and thoughtful words of our new president at the National Prayer Breakfast, after which we take a caller’s question about whether being religious necessarily includes being an elitist. A listener’s call causes us to wonder if Trump is himself the greatest prophylactic ever invented, and another caller wants to know how to navigate a relationship in which the two partners can’t agree on spiritual matters. We discuss Trump’s “travel ban,” which segues into a larger discussion of whether anything the president does comports with anything resembling Christianity. Lastly, we discuss whether it’s fair for Christian leaders to whine about being persecuted when the government actually singles them out for special financial favors. Jason is biebered by people’s irrational brand loyalty.

Also, Christian’s “Feeding Friendsy” will make you really mad. Just saying.

Direct download: 2017_02_02_0135.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:28pm PST

Podcast #134: Peter Rollins

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors we welcome to the studio philosopher and theologian Peter Rollins, after whose Lucky Charms they always are. We discuss everything from Radical Theology to La La Land, tackling such topics as whether any of us truly knows what we believe, and whether atheism vs. theism is a false dichotomy (and on that note, you’ll be surprised to hear which one of us Pete thinks believes in God the most). Pete’s background in psychoanalysis will surely make everyone who listens feel like they’ve had a therapy session, and his accent will make you wonder if he has in fact met Bono.

Also, Pete is biebered by biebers.

Direct download: 2017_01_22_0134.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PST

Podcast #133: Films and Friendship

In an episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors that is filled with rabbit trails and red herrings, we begin by being read the riot act by some nature lover with an obvious canyon fetish, and then we are gently told by another caller that we may need to up our game or risk starvation and poverty. We take another voicemail urging us to do more movie reviews, which prompts us to divulge another one of our future plans that probably won’t come to fruition (Hashtag, DXPCruise). We follow up a bit on the topic of minimalism, and then take a tear-jerker of a call about how unique our friendship apparently is. We discuss a recent study that suggests that Trump voters are in fact as horrible as we suspected they were, after which we launch into our Feeding Friendsy segment which is both about, and elicits, eyerolls. Jason is biebered by standing in line, while Christian’s bieber has to do with proper chair protocol.

Also, I swallowed a bug.

Direct download: 2017_01_18_0133.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PST

Podcast #132: Minimalism and Blackmail

This episode begins with a quick debrief of our “Catholic Lesbian” interview and then segues into a discussion of the Netflix documentary Minimalism, which left Christian wondering whether it was naïve and Jason wondering why more followers of that homeless Jewish carpenter aren’t on board with the idea. We discuss the Golden Globes and La La Land in particular, debating just how depressed the film was intended to make us. We then spend some time breaking down Meryl Streep’s acceptance speech, considering what the next four years will look like with a childish bully in the White House. We then spend some time sifting through the latest reports concerning whether Trump is being blackmailed by Russia and what, if anything, this has to do with prostitutes and urine (turns out, very little). But nothing would surprise us at this point!

Also, relevant celebrity opinions: an oxymoron?

Direct download: 2017_01_10_0132.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PST

Podcast #130: New Year’s, Celebrity Deaths, and the Meaning of Life

We begin our New Year’s episode of DXP with a look back at 2016 in all its glory and shame, with Christian taking the blame for how bad this last year treated so many people. We then reflect a bit on the death of Carrie Fisher, springboarding to the issue of celebrity deaths in general and whether mourning the passing of people we don’t really know is pathetic or legit. We take a call about whether difficulty and trial produce better quality satire and music, and if so, whether this may be silver lining around the dark cloud of a future Trump presidency. Another caller schools Jason on the topic of evolution (how hard can it be? Fish  Monkey  Man, right?). We then squeeze in one final caller whose question focuses on the simple matter of the meaning of life. Christian is biebered by people’s self-obliviousness on TV, while Jason’s bieber focuses on people looking better than they should.

Also, suck it, 2016. Your time is over.

Direct download: 2016_12_30_0130.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PST

Podcast #129: Happy Birthday, Jesus!

Our Christmas episode begins, appropriately enough, with an uplifting breakdown of the story of Rudolph, a tale about a bunch of proto-Nazis whose demand for hegemony is outweighed only by their cold heartless pragmatism (who knew?). We then reminisce about how rad the ‘80s were, what with the whole Cold War and whatnot. We then take a few calls about religion: Do our bad deeds really make us hell-worthy? Do you have to confess every last sin we commit? And would we prefer God *not* to exist, and if he didn’t, what would we do? Our “Feeding Friendsy” highlights the irony of feminists for Trump, while our “Dick Move, God” segment introduces us to a man who’s both “after God’s own heart” as well as after the king’s hot daughter, and he’s got a sack of wiener-bits to prove it. Christian is biebered by unwanted residue clouding his eyesight, while Jason’s bieber reveals how envious he is of celebrities.

Also, the Island of Misfit Toys is a metaphor for Auschwitz. Seriously.

Direct download: 2016_12_24_0129.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:24pm PST

Podcast #128: Will the Real Antichrist Please Stand up?

Episode #128 of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with a criticism of our duet of “Baby It’s Cold Outside” that is not homophobic at all. We then share our opinions about HBO’s series Westworld, which recently wrapped up its first season (Jason had some issues with it, but we agreed that it ended with probably the coolest song ever), and Christian changes his tune on Love (the TV show, not the actual thing itself). We take a call on the topic of sleep paralysis and relate it to the biblical phenomenon of demon possession, and then revisit the topic of ranked voting and whether it could have spared us a Trump presidency. We spend a good portion of time pulling our hair out, metaphorically, while listening to a certain infamous televangelist explain how Donald Trump, far from being the antichrist, may in fact be the real Christ instead. Which is weird. Christian’s bieber has to do with people emerging from forests to kill you, while Jason is biebered by constantly being marketed to when he’s not expecting it.

Also, last we checked Donald Trump isn’t the Son of David.

Direct download: 2016_12_14_0128.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:24pm PST

Podcast #127: Magic, Millennials, and Movies in Heaven

Episode #127 of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with a description of perhaps the most harrowing dream ever, after which we consider a conservative prophet’s doomsday deadline for Obama to finally accomplish the insidious plans he’s been hatching for the last eight years. We discuss whether David Blaine is a master illusionist, fraud, or minion of the underworld. We take voicemails from a Millennial listener about the financial challenges her generation faces, another about whether heaven will suck because there’ll be no Netflix or weed, and still another about whether marriage just gets in the way of true love. Christian’s “Feeding Friendsy” asks whether God needs to be dictated to, prayer-wise, and Jason’s “Dick Move, God” segment demonstrates just how far the Lord will go to pull off an object lesson. Christian is biebered by dubious clickbait math, while Jason’s bieber has to do with (you guessed it) fixing what ain’t broke.

Also, Slenderman meets the Ring girl who crawled out of that well? Just peed myself….

Direct download: 2016_12_10_0127.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PST