Drunk Ex-Pastors
Podcast #78: Patriotism or Christianity?

We begin this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors with one final bit of blowback from our interview with Cash Peters—and this one’s priceless—which leads us into a reflection about the Fundamentalist’s pathological need to find a threat or demon lurking behind every tree (can’t an innocent erotic chakra massage be religiously neutral? Geez. Relax, people). We then banter a bit about the new Star Wars film and address a caller’s feedback about Princess Leia’s collagen-filled lips, after which we take another call about the personal and relational price of no longer towing the religious party line. Another listener’s question about Jerry Falwell Jr. and Liberty University’s open-carry gun policy leads to an in-depth discussion about Christianity and pacifism: Should believers be more American by arming themselves on the one hand, or try to, I don’t know, imitate Christ on the other? Our “Feeding Friendzy” segment addresses the problem of our president having such an easy time implementing his communist agenda (will the Right *ever* stand up to him and say “No”?). Christian is biebered by the lawless wilderness that is his daughter’s school parking lot, while Jason’s bieber involves The Force and its rape-implications.

Also, say hi to your mother for me, alright?

Direct download: 2015_12_22_0078.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

Podcast #77: Star Wars, Hitler, and Princess Leia’s Lips

This episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with an in-depth breakdown of the New Star Wars film that neither of us had seen yet (turns out it was awesome), after which we debrief a bit about the Cash Peters interview from our last show. Christian then describes how his company does “mission trips,” which is weird since it makes no sense to do nice things for underprivileged people when you hate Jesus. We address a caller’s observation that we are “sarcastic” (wow, you figure that out on your own, genius?), and then address Bernie Sanders’s suggestion that ISIS was caused by styrofoam Big Mac containers and AquaNet. We then turn to the question of how alike Trump and Hitler are on a scale of 6-10, after which we springboard from Princess Leia’s lip implants to Hollywood’s preference for young, thin women. In our “Feeding Friendsy” segment we weigh in on whether Confederate flags and crescent moons are the same, and our “Dick Move, God” segment introduces us to a budding entrepreneur who loses his business and meets financial ruin because he didn’t think to purchase demon insurance. Christian is biebered by elevator etiquette, while Jason’s bieber involves messy nuts.

Also? By choice, man!

Direct download: 2015_12_15_0077.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:06pm PDT

Podcast #76: Guest Cash Peters

In this episode, the DXPs welcome mystic, TV personality, radio host, handwriting analyst, and author Cash Peters into the studio (he’s kind of like the Dos Equis “Most Interesting Man in the World” guy, just with a British accent and teeth). In our first hour, Cash analyses our handwriting and is deeply surprised by what he learns about Jason (although Christian thinks the analysis was pretty much right on target). After our break Cash describes his experience visiting the healer John of God in Brazil (do true healings happen there? Are they attributable to God?), after which we again return to Jason and what a frustrating experience he makes listening to this show to be (during which Jason falls asleep). Cash shares his bieber with us, which involves times long ago in galaxies far, far away.

Also, you’ve now heard the terms “Mancunian” and “Liverpudlian.” You’re welcome.

Direct download: 2015_12_09_0076.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:09pm PDT

Podcast #75: Killing Abortionists Stops a Beating Heart

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors, Jason and Christian begin by discussing some of the blowback from last week’s interview with Dan Savage, and then take a series of voicemails on topics ranging from how sexy our voices are to whether we should have free college tuition, and from the refugee crisis to whether we truly mock God on our show. We address the issues of modern evangelical culture and persecution in America, after which Christian gets super pissed at his kids and we all get to hear what that sounds like. Dick Bush calls in for tips on becoming a good “agnostical,” and we introduce a new segment called “Go Home, Google, You’re Drunk” which leads to a discussion about elitism, tastemakers, and how stupid everyone is. We then spend a good deal of time arguing about whether, how, and how cavalierly abortion doctors should be killed. In our “Dick Move, God” segment we meet a man who was fired for sustaining an on-the-job injury, and Jason is biebered by how pointless it is to listen to podcasts.

Direct download: 2015_11_30_0075.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

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