Drunk Ex-Pastors

We begin this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors talking about how weirdly enigmatic Jim Carrey has become. We talk about Christmas gifts and snowmobiling (which is a thing people do for some reason that Jason cannot fathom). We discuss the second season of The White Lotus, and then spend the remainder of the show listening to and making fun of “Pastor” Jack Hibbs. No biebers this week!

Direct download: 2022_12_19_0423.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

This episode of DXP begins with a discussion about the new Trump Trading Cards which, although digital and not physical, are still somehow “limited.” We hear from a caller about the film “Everything Everywhere All at Once,” and then are challenged by another caller about 75 year-old boobs. We discuss Accelerationism, and then debate whether it’s okay for a restaurant to refuse service to an evangelical activist group. Biebers involve crap UX and locked-up liquor.

Direct download: 2022_12_16_0422.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

This episode begins with a discussion of Indonesia’s recent ban on premarital sex (how do you even enforce that?). We continue this thread with a voicemail about the issue of sex before marriage, and we then interact with a TikTok about people no longer being attracted to their partners, and whether one sex handles that criticism better than the other. Biebers involve hygiene routines and overly clever heaters.

Direct download: 2022_12_09_0421.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin episode #420 by commemorating the number in the most obvious way possible. We attempt to discuss Christian turning 50, and then try to talk about the World Cup for a bit. Jason does his best to explain why we’re pronouncing “Iran” correctly, and then we attempt to address Gen-Z’s itchy trigger finger when it comes to canceling people they disagree with. Biebers involve button-downs and ChapStick.

Direct download: 2022_12_01_0420.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode with a recap of Christian’s recent trip to England, highlighting all the ways we suck compared to them (we are better at teeth, I’ll give us that). We discuss the World Cup and the U.S. Men’s National Team, and then turn our attention to the issue of free speech, and Elon Musk’s Twitter takeover in particular. Biebers involve pedestrian protocols and cold showers.

Direct download: 2022_11_24_0419.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:28pm PDT

We begin this week’s episode with a brief discussion of the recent midterm elections, lamenting how overblown expectations unduly shape our view of the outcome. We springboard from Kanye to Kyrie Irving and talk about whether or not his actions were truly antisemitic (as well as what that label even means). We talk Twitter and Elon Musk, and then share biebers involving important discussions and unannounced pop-ins.

Direct download: 2022_11_11_0418.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode of Drunk EX-Pastors discussing Game of Thrones: House of the Dragon. We then turn our attention to Herschel Walker, who’s some ex-sportsball who wants to be a politician. We talk about a recent poll’s findings on the supposed decline of Christianity among Americans, as well as the idea of America as a theocracy. After talking briefly about parenthood, we share biebers involving special effects and Microsoft Word.

Direct download: 2022_11_01_0417.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:43pm PDT

We begin this episode of DXP with a voicemail discussing proper toilet seat etiquette. We then hear from an expert in the field of death and dismemberment about how much we should charge to cut off a pinky. We discuss (and disagree over) Ricky Gervais’s thoughts about science versus religion, and then hear from a listener about whether marriage strengthens romantic commitments. Biebers involve Spotify and traffic signals.

Direct download: 2022_10_28_0416.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode with the realization that Eminem just turned 50, which leads us into a discussion about musical trends over the last several decades. We imagine how someone from the 1950s would react to being shown an iPad, and then discuss a flyer we recently received urging us to prepare for the return of Christ. We briefly touch upon vaccine hysteria, and then share biebers involving Amazon deliveries and people on TV talking to others who don’t understand them.

Direct download: 2022_10_17_0415.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

In this episode of DXP we revisit our Kanye/Bieber distinction (as well as touch upon the current beef between these two morons). We discuss the docu-series “Welcome to Wrexham,” and then wonder aloud whether it would matter that much if the Earth had no helium left for birthday balloons. We contemplate how much our pinkies are worth, and then wish the #MeToo movement a happy 5th birthday.

Direct download: 2022_10_10_0414.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode by shouting out a couple DXP listeners who made their way to the Well & Table this past week, and then banter a bit about nothing in particular. We discuss “Planetary Defense,” which is a recent NASA experiment in which we try to alter the trajectory of an asteroid (think the film Armageddon, only real). We talk about another experiment on the subject of “Learned Helplessness,” which explains why, when you’re down on your luck, it’s so hard to turn things around. Biebers involve icemakers expired water.

Direct download: 2022_10_02_0413.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

In this episode Jason is derided (again) for thinking he can run for five miles. We turn our attention once again to the book “4000 Weeks,” discussing the issue of cherishing the time we have on this earth and seeking novel experiences that slow time down. A caller brings up abortion, which leads into a discussion about a possibly looming civil war. Biebers involve dishonest memes and martial arts.

Direct download: 2022_09_21_0412.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode of DXP with a voicemail addressing Jason’s (clearly unthought-out) claim to be able to run five miles. We then hear from Christian about his recent trip to Italy and Greece: Religious relics, victims in Pompeii, old-timey sex positions, Roman fashion, and the incredible architecture of the Pantheon and Sistine Chapel. Biebers involve pushy women and people-mover etiquette.

Direct download: 2022_09_16_0411.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:21pm PDT

This episode of DXP begins with a discussion about what may become a disturbing trend regarding worker pay for remote employees. Speaking of disturbing, we then talk quite a bit about ear wax for some reason, after which we break down the ethics of euthanasia. We finish with a discussion of the so-called “male gaze” in TV and movies, wondering how bad the supposed double standard really is. Biebers involve autopay and online questionnaires.

Direct download: 2022_08_23_0410.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors by discussing the recent findings from the James Webb telescope, springboarding to the idea that there is virtue in agnosticism rather than in smug certainty. Then we return to the book “4,000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals.” We discuss issues such as finding joy in the mundane and everyday tasks of life, whether “getting ahead of ourselves” is a good or bad thing, and why so many pursuits don’t seem legit if they’re not profitable monetarily. Biebers involve surveys and slow morons.

Direct download: 2022_08_19_0409.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors we discuss the book “4,000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals,” wondering aloud whether the final third of our lives is preferable to the first two-thirds due to the fact that we’re not complete morons anymore. We discuss whether the FBI’s raid of Mar-a-Lago was justified, and then end with a bieber involving annoying advertising tactics.

Direct download: 2022_08_12_0408.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

In this episode of DXP we briefly discuss biblical miracles in the light of that kayaker who just got swallowed by a whale. We turn our attention to the current court case against Alex Jones, and then hear from a loyal listener who wants to fight one of us. We play another voicemail about how running 100 miles without stopping isn’t actually that hard. We revisit the issue of Hollywood’s beauty standards, and then share biebers involving milkshakes and tech.

Direct download: 2022_08_04_0407.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode of DXP by discussing how rewarding it is at our age NOT to do things, but NOT to do them, if that makes sense. We talk about a recent study that calls into question what we thought we knew about chemical imbalances and depression. We wrestle with the issue of “doing our own research,” and then share biebers involving passing cars on the freeway and whether traditional meal times make sense.

Direct download: 2022_07_29_0406.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:55pm PDT

We begin this episode by discussing the recent Paramount+ show, The Offer (and potentially spoil a 50-year-old film in the process). We wonder aloud whether bands know when they have a hit song, and then discuss potential plans to move to a foreign country. And we wrap up by talking about the level of brainwashing necessary to convince the populous that working 50 hours a week is a good idea. Biebers involve false praise and streaming ads.

Direct download: 2022_07_22_0405.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode by discussing the recent Paramount+ show, The Offer (and potentially spoil a 50-year-old film in the process). We wonder aloud whether bands know when they have a hit song, and then discuss potential plans to move to a foreign country. And we wrap up by talking about the level of brainwashing necessary to convince the populous that working 50 hours a week is a good idea. Biebers involve false praise and streaming ads.

Direct download: 2022_07_22_0405.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode by discussing the recent Paramount+ show, The Offer (and potentially spoil a 50-year-old film in the process). We wonder aloud whether bands know when they have a hit song, and then discuss potential plans to move to a foreign country. And we wrap up by talking about the level of brainwashing necessary to convince the populous that working 50 hours a week is a good idea. Biebers involve false praise and streaming ads.

Direct download: 2022_07_22_0405.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode recounting Christian’s recent travels in Alaska and Canada and move on from there to talk about The Offer, Paramount+’s new show about the making of The Godfather. We take a voice mail from a listener about whether the luxury we experience in today’s society is good for us or not. We talk briefly about how fun it is to watch The Sixth Sense with someone who’s never seen it. Biebers involve notifications and tipping dealers.

Direct download: 2022_07_15_0404.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:54pm PDT

We begin this week’s episode discussing how important connection to where you grew up could be. Christian discusses his new problem of his eyes leaking when he’s happy. We play a voice mail about stuttering and then discuss a series of voice mails about whether the Bible condemns or maybe even supports abortion. We wonder if fear mongering about what the Supreme Court will do next is warranted. We end by discussing whether a new major religion is possible in the future. Biebers involve car chases and TV show extras.

Direct download: 2022_07_01_0403.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this week’s show by revisiting our discussion about Top Gun: Maverick (and hopefully clarify some things about Kelly McGillis), after which we hear from a listener about gun laws and HIPPA policies. We make a few remarks about Daylight/Standard Time, and then wonder aloud what we want to be when we grow up. Biebers involve printer ink and standing in the rain.  

Direct download: 2022_06_23_0402.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin episode #401 by wondering whether Jeff Probst has played a more significant role in our lives than we previously realized. We hear from a caller who accidentally makes incest not sound so bad, and then wonder who the Dems may run if Biden wanders off and is never heard from again. We discuss Daylight Savings Time, and then address the horrific injustice of Kelly McGillis not being cast in the new Top Gun movie. Biebers involve obliviots and Harry Potter.

Direct download: 2022_06_16_0401.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We start this episode of DXP by agreeing to keep doing this because all the freaking out about this possibly being our final show. We hear from a caller about how cell phones are the death of both comedy and drama, and we then puzzle over the size of the universe. We consider joining an outreach team that frequents strip clubs, and then hear from another listener about the abortion issue. Biebers involve showers and filthy wizards.

Direct download: 2022_06_10_0400.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors we discuss the new Top Gun film, after which we turn our attention to what by now is like 10 mass shootings ago. We wrestle with the issue of survivor’s guilt, and then try to explain the Internet to an hypothetical person from the ‘80s. We hear an argument for why we’re living in a computerized simulation, and then address a common pro-choice argument. Biebers involve eyewear and streaming services.

Direct download: 2022_05_31_0399.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode with a voicemail about how it’s supposedly elitist to complain about cleaning ladies, and we then talk a bit about Donald Glover’s show, Atlanta, as well as Jerrod Carmichael’s comedy special, On the Count of 3. We talk stocks a bit, we hear from a longtime patron asking about why evangelical pro-lifers aren’t against IVF, and we then discuss the merits of canceling student debt. Coincidentally, biebers involve brooms and magic.      

Direct download: 2022_05_19_0398.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors we (and one of us in particular) voices significant frustration at the fact that house cleaners insist on touching and moving everything you own. We discuss the looming collapse of the American Empire, and then discuss Roe v. Wade, and specifically whether any of the popular arguments for abortion actually work (and whether that even matters). Biebers involve tuna cans and mouthy restaurant patrons.     

Direct download: 2022_05_10_0397.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors we hear from a listener who calls into question a very common (but apparently meaningless) phrase, after which we hear why Christian should not play the stock market. We weigh in on the potential overturning of Roe V. Wade. We discuss whether there’s a difference between making college free and canceling student debt, and then share biebers involving receipt paper and key fobs.    

Direct download: 2022_05_04_0396.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode of DXP with an update on the films and TV shows we’ve been watching lately (with a focus on Severance). We discuss Elon Musk’s recent purchase of Twitter, breaking down why everyone is either rejoicing about it or having a complete meltdown. We talk Johnny Depp/Amber Heard, and weigh in on Ron DeSantis’s culture war in Florida (does CRT really teach kids to hate their country? And is that necessarily a bad thing?). Biebers involve hyperlinks and twitch streamers.   

Direct download: 2022_04_27_0395.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

In this episode of DXP we hear from an angry Goonies enthusiast, and then we play a TikTok about how to use capitalism to stop police from shooting black people. We discuss the issue of contradictions in the Bible, and then springboard into a discussion of the dubious math that evangelicals employ to justify their support for Israel. We talk about our former church, Calvary Chapel, and then hear from a caller about the Victoria’s Secret model with Down Syndrome. Biebers involve Geico and the olds.   

Direct download: 2022_04_13_0393.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode with a voicemail from an old friend asking about the long-term effects of believing that Jesus could return at any moment. We discuss the movie about Calvary Chapel that is currently under production, and then hear from another listener asking about whether one needs to be a part of a particular demographic in order to have a valid opinion about them. We introduce the so-called Egg Theory, and then share biebers involving deadlines and TikTok.   

Direct download: 2022_04_05_0392.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode discussing the idea that “ignorance is bliss,” and then turn our attention to the various attempts of Big Tech to turn us all into human cyborgs (or is it just rich people who get this?). After talking briefly about Biden’s new tax proposal we break down “the slap heard ‘round the world.” Biebers involve Hulu accounts and limiting discourse.  

Direct download: 2022_03_30_0391.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode by reflecting on the latest Batman movie and theorizing that the caped crusader’s identity could only be that of a rich white man. We play a couple voicemails from callers who like to listen to us talk about things we know little about, for some reason. We tackle the issue of wealth, trying to decide whether it would make life too boring, and then revisit the issue of non-monogamy. Biebers involve parking spots and Instagram filters.

Direct download: 2022_03_24_0390.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors with yet another story about Christian losing consciousness, after which we briefly weigh in on the issue of doping in sports. We touch on the new Apple TV+ series, Severance, and then play a voicemail about the end times. We hear from another listener regarding the war in Ukraine, and then spend the entire second half of the show arguing about it. Biebers involve airline seats and clutter.

Direct download: 2022_03_17_0389.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode of DXP with a voicemail from a grateful listener which helps convince us that this show might not suck after all. We hear a harrowing restaurant story involving someone who’s for sure related to Hitler, after which we turn our attention to the issue of “consensual non-monogamy,” discussing whether it is truly possible for married couples to adopt the lifestyle without jealousy and competitiveness (we disagree somewhat about this — guess which one of us is more cynical?). Biebers involve grocery stores and bad drivers.

Direct download: 2022_03_07_0388.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors by discussing whether pop music from 20 years ago can still pass as new today. We answer a listener’s question about the relationship between hard work and success, and then briefly weigh in on another listener’s thoughts about a supposed “afterlife” with no suffering or challenges. And then to lighten things up a bit we end the show by discussing nuclear war. Biebers involve typos and Pandora.

Direct download: 2022_03_01_0387.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode of DXP by freaking out about how young we apparently still look (who knew?). We then recount some strange night terrors, after which we dive into the whole Russia/Ukraine debacle, tackling issues like whether media outlets that are funded by corporations with a vested interest in the outcome of a particular story can be trusted to be objective in their reporting about that story (hint, they can’t). Biebers involve door hangers and extortive ink companies.

Direct download: 2022_02_22_0386.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors we spend some time discussing recent Superbowl Halftime show, breaking down why white Boomers are so scandalized by what they saw (cough*racists*cough. We talk about the way COVID has transformed the way we work (and the way we think about work), which leads into a conversation about the balance between busy-ness and idleness. Biebers involve masks and online ordering.

Direct download: 2022_02_15_0385.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors we begin by discussing a documentary about some couple who stole a painting worth $100 million (why can’t we pull off something cool like that?), and then firm up our pledge to spend 10 minutes in meditation every day for a month. We discuss method acting and the cast of HBO’s Succession, and then reflect on the film Old Henry, asking ourselves whether anyone is worth rooting for if we knew everything about them. Biebers involve movie twists and supermarket checkout lanes.

Direct download: 2022_02_08_0384.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We take a departure in this episode from politics, current events, and the futile nature of existence and tackle some “get to know you” questions about our dreams and goals, our first jobs, our desert-island films, our best vacations, and what kind of harrowing claustrophobic situation we could endure. Biebers involve cheese and lazy web developers.

Direct download: 2022_02_01_0383.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode by waxing nostalgic about Harry Potter and mocking Marvel Universe movies. We then hear from a caller commenting on last episode’s topic of mid-life crises, and then weigh in on the latest example of faux-outrage concerning how sexy M&Ms used to be and now we barely want to bang them (could it be that keeping us all divided over BS is to distract us from being constantly raped and pillaged by the billionaire class?). We decide to give meditation a shot, and then share biebers involving supermarkets and booking trips online.

Direct download: 2022_01_29_0382.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

In this episode of DXP we springboard from the term “discography” into a discussion of the  fast-moving nature of tech. We recount what is perhaps the coolest fight we’ve ever had with each other (and it just happened the other day!), and then spend the second half of the show discussing depression, mid-life crises, and the looming threat of death. Biebers involve scales and clothes.

Direct download: 2022_01_13_0381.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors we spend the bulk of the show looking back at 2021 and discussing our personal highs and lows throughout the year, from ER visits to restaurant openings, and everything in between. We talk (and somewhat disagree) about COVID vaccine mandates, and then share biebers involving car chases and furnaces.

Direct download: 2022_01_05_0380.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode with a discussion of the new film The Green Knight (we’ll let you guess which one of us has and has not seen it). We tease a voicemail about the highs and lows of 2021, which we will answer in more detail next week. We hear from a caller about the challenges of parenting, from which we springboard into a discussion of whether there’s any hope at all for kids these days. Another caller shares his own plans to leave the ministry, and then we share biebers involving boxes and undershirts.

Direct download: 2021_12_30_0379.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

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