Drunk Ex-Pastors

We begin this episode by giving the phrase “getting burnt” a whole new—and disturbing—meaning. We respond to a caller’s questions about depression and its causes and cures, and then address the latest controversy about Ivermectin as a possible treatment for COVID. We disagree about whether leftists hate America too much, and then share biebers involving cotton balls and phone calls.

Direct download: 2021_09_11_0366.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors with a simple question about murder which then spirals into a depressing diatribe about the end of the world. We touch upon the new documentary about 9/11 on Apple TV+ and then briefly discuss Green Lights, Matthew McConaughey’s new memoir (he’s not quite as stupid as you’d think). We hear from Jason’s attorney about political sectarianism and segue into what it’s like to talk to a Trump supporter at a party. Biebers involve produce bags and failing at discretion.

Direct download: 2021_09_04_365.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode with a voice mail from a congratulatory caller, after which we hear from another listener with some interesting theories about coffee and capitalism. We discuss the kinds of drugs good parents take, and then turn our attention to the Netflix docuseries, “The Movies that Made Us,” spring-boarding into a discussion of our favorite decades for movies, music, and TV. Biebers involve account numbers and digital stuff trying to be analog.

Direct download: 2021_08_28_0364.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode of DXP by introducing a debt collector who absolutely needs his own reality show. We hear from a caller with questions about the “Great Resignation,” the realization on the part of so many that the pre-COVID rat race has lost most of its appeal (she also wanted us to talk about softcore Bible porn). We hear an interesting take from a listener concerning the idea that there actually are no men’s sports teams, and then share biebers about bathrooms.

Direct download: 2021_08_22_0363.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

This episode of DXP boasts perhaps the funniest and most poignant first half we have ever forgotten to record. But the second half (which is now the whole thing) was also pretty good. We discuss the death of a high school friend from COVID and whether Americans are beginning to soften their anti-vax position (shockingly, the positive one of us thinks yes, the other one remains unconvinced). We briefly talk about climate change and performative activism, and then share biebers involving crosswalks and bad seventeenth-century grammar.

Direct download: 2021_08_10_0362.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

In this episode of DXP (after a brief update about the Well & Table’s progress) we explore the age-old question of whether we’d find Rachel McAdams attractive if we met her in her sixties (short answer, it’s complicated but probably). We share the recipe for the craft cocktail that became the Drunk Ex-Pastor, and then discuss the controversy surrounding the Women’s National Soccer Team’s recent Olympic loss. Biebers involve left-hand turn lanes and cell phone battery levels.

Direct download: 2021_08_03_0361.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode of DXP by introducing our Summer 2021 Playlist, after which we hear from a listener who ironically faults us for repeating ourselves. We share an update about the Well & Table, and then we hear a bunch of jokes about cheese from someone who ought to know. “Dick Move, God” makes a comeback, and then we hear from a listener who ironically faults us for repeating ourselves. We break down some bad arguments about Christianity, and then share biebers involving ATM fees and auto-correct.

Direct download: 2021_07_26_0360.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors with a breakdown of opening weekend at the Well & Table (Hint: It went great!). Christian then tells a dad joke that Jason doesn’t get until it is explained to him (those are the best kind of jokes). We hear from an angry caller who apparently doesn’t like comedy, and then spend the remainder of the episode debating the merits of billionaires going to space. Both biebers involve banks.

Direct download: 2021_07_19_0359.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

In this episode of DXP we hear from a caller who forces Jason to remember a bunch of theology. We then discuss all the recent documentaries we plan to watch, and then briefly discuss the not-good but titillating Netflix program, Sex/Life. We turn our attention to the real reason women can’t be preachers, and then share biebers involving tortillas and the bank.

Direct download: 2021_07_15_0358.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode of DXP with another update about Jason’s restaurant, and we then consider why movies from the ‘90s seem so racist. We answer a caller’s question about our music-listening tastes, and then discuss the recent controversy surrounding marijuana and the Olympics. We talk about recent developments in the Amber Heard vs. Johnny Depp debacle, and then hear from a listener on the topic of Ikea and Juneteenth. Biebers involve cardboard. Yep, cardboard.

Direct download: 2021_07_10_0357.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode of DXP by lamenting the challenges caused by cripples and calorie-counting, and then get an update on the sound system at Jason’s restaurant. We circle back to Bo Burnham’s new special, Inside, and then hear from a caller about the topic of Christians constantly sharing their faith. Another caller charges one of us with being a know-it-all, and we hear from our old pal, Dick Bush. Biebers involve spices and power-hungry city officials.  

Direct download: 2021_07_01_0356.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors we wonder aloud whether needing to sleep gets in the way of creativity (spoiler alert: turns out sleeping is actually kind of important. Who knew?). We hear from a caller with a very strong opinion about gender reveal parties, and then turn the bulk of our attention to the recent Bo Burnham special, “Inside.” We invite a real-life Gen Z-er, Christian’s daughter Chloe, to weigh in on the effects of the pandemic on people already struggling with depression. Biebers involve Quicken and bitches just slapping people.

Direct download: 2021_06_24_0355.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors we get a much-needed update on Christian’s bidet use (!), and then break down his plan for getting Rachel McAdams to fall in love with him. We play  a few voicemails — we hear from a caller asking about tattoos, from another asking about rock bands that stand the test of time, and from another with the balls to suggest that maybe Jason shouldn’t pay his employees $500 per hour. We then lighten things up by discussing Handmaid’s Tale and Exterminate All the Brutes. Biebers involve dogs-walkers and Hollywood’s lies.

Direct download: 2021_06_17_0354.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We’re on a break this week, but thanks to Chris Hamm, we’ve got some oldies but goodies to share with you. We’ll be back next week with a new episode!

Direct download: 2021_06_13_0353.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode of DXP by disagreeing about how fun roller coasters are, and then theorize about how we would handle obscene wealth. We hear from a caller desperate to convince us that we are wrong about Rush, and then hear a story about being a cat- and puzzle-person at the same time. We share some road rage stories, as well as a really good reason for Christian to own an Apple Watch. Biebers involve litterbugs and technology.

Direct download: 2021_06_03_0352.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors with an update about Jason’s restaurant (and a cautionary tale involving edibles). We then hear from a caller begging us to never break up, which leads into a conversation about the way certain films and TV shows have functioned in our lives personally. We then revisit and try to clarify some things we said last week about the pros and cons of video games. Biebers involve beloved bands and Amazon packages.

Direct download: 2021_05_27_0351.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode of DXP with a conversation about what would probably be the coolest job ever. We then briefly discuss cars and movies, and then talk about the ways that the pandemic is causing people to question what used to be considered “normal.” We address the charge that Jason is mean, and then we float a half-baked theory that dogs are the Caucasians of pets. We debate whether gambling is worthwhile and hear some feedback on our bidet discussion. Biebers involve divorce and Seattle’s rain.  

Direct download: 2021_05_21_0350.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode of DXP by recounting an unfortunate wiping mishap, and then learn about a cool hack to get free food. We discuss Elon Musk and debate whether he’s a good guy or a cartoon villain, after which we hear from a caller with an interesting idea to grow the podcast by shrinking it by 50%. We then turn our attention to the issue of cultural appropriation and discuss whether it is even really a thing in the first place. Biebers involve TV seasons and episode spoilers.

Direct download: 2021_05_13_0349.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

Direct download: 2021_05_06_0348.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors by establishing once and for all that Ted Cruz really is a piece of shit. We springboard from the song “Jesus Loves the Little Children” to a discussion of whether it’s racist to refer to people as “red, brown, yellow, black, or white,” and then freak out that the movie Titanic came out a quarter of a century ago. We delve into prostitution (well, into a discussion about prostitution) and whether there’s really anything wrong with paying for sex. Biebers involve meat and earbuds.

Direct download: 2021_04_29_0347.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode by tackling that age-old question of whether “salt” is a legitimate flavor or not (we applied our laser-like reasoning to “vanilla” a few weeks ago as you’ll recall). We revisit the topic of polygamy, and then hear from a caller about how to solve Jason’s streaming frustrations. Christian claims to solve abortion, and then we answer another caller’s question about heartbreak over past break-ups. Biebers involve masks outdoors and that thing that put Chicago on the map.

Direct download: 2021_04_22_0346.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode of DXP with some talk about Christian’s stroke, and then naturally segue into a discussion of off-the-rack spandex jeans. Netflix’s Away leads to the topic of what we would be willing to die for, and then Jason tells a casino story about what he is definitely NOT willing to die for. We hear from a caller about proper dog training, and then launch into a discussion about polygamy and polyamory. We play a voicemail about cancel culture, and then share biebers involving form fields and streaming.

Direct download: 2021_04_15_0345.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin this episode of DXP, surprise surprise, by talking about TikTok. We then hear from a listener about how difficult it can be doing customer service for Dominos Pizza, especially when the customer in question is a grumpy podcaster. We hear about Christian’s new cat, and Jason shares his thoughts after watching Forrest Gump with his daughter for the first time. We hear from a caller with questions about just how “squeaky clean” we used to be, and then share biebers about ageing parents and cooking sausages.

Direct download: 2021_04_11_0344.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:24pm PDT

One of us had a rough week, which we break down at the top of DXP #343 (and during the discussion we come up with a way to punish appliance companies for charging too much for their shit). A caller wonders aloud what an intimate encounter (ahem) between the two of us might look like, after which we discuss the thorny issue of deepfake videos. We turn our attention to the controversy surround rapper Lil Nas X, which leads to a broader discussion about the N-word. Biebers involve (literal, not metaphorical) small potatoes and the idiocy of Washington’s street names.

Direct download: 2021_04_01_0343.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We spend the first half of this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors discussing two controversial topics: We wrap up our conversation about whether refusing to date a trans person constitutes transphobia, and then discuss the disparity in pay between male and female professional athletes. We then briefly talk about controversial rapper Tekashi 6ix 9ine, after which we explore the issue of Gen-Z’s unorthodox career goals. We play a few voicemails in our “Stories from Church” segment, and then share biebers involving cloud-based storage and plain old vanilla.

Direct download: 2021_03_25_0342.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:58pm PDT

We begin DXP #341 touching on topics like social media, comedians, and weed. We then turn our attention to the topic of mindfulness and being present in each moment (one of us is reading Eckhart Tolle, can you tell?). We hear from a listener with some thoughts on our open-mindedness, and then we tackle the question of whether not wanting to date a trans person is in fact transphobia. We talk a bit about the Atlanta shootings, and we then share biebers involving bite-sized food and doorknobs.

Direct download: 2021_03_18_0341.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

Episode #340 of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with a discussion of Hulu’s new documentary series, Hip Hop Uncovered. We foray a bit into politics — we talk about ridiculously hot sex-symbol Ted Cruz, and his not-embarrassing-at-all speech at CPAC a couple weeks ago, and then speculate about whether Bernie is as pleased with the COVID stimulus bill as he claims to be on social media. We hear from a caller asking about sex-quotas within marriage, and then share biebers involving hyperlinks and painting.

Direct download: 2021_03_11_0340.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

DXP #339 begins with a discussion of men’s shorts which made us both slightly uncomfortable. We then think back on what we wanted to do for a career when we were in high school, after which we learn that one of us had an MRI this past week (one guess who). We mock Oklahoma for some reason, and then hear some voicemails about church vs. state and the mass exodus from Christianity. We explore the topics of mindfulness and meditation, and then share biebers involving credit scores and body-shaming.

Direct download: 2021_03_06_0339.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:59pm PDT

We begin this episode of DXP by discussing why Jimmy Carter was the “rock ‘n’ roll president,” after which we talk about whether Jason really likes hip hop or not. The topic of ageing comes up (as it is wont to do), and we then turn our attention to whether the CPAC event was a Nazi rally in disguise. We address the gender of a plastic potato, and then Christian forces Jason to watch some TikToks in a desperate effort to convert him. Biebers involve temp checks and Starbucks.

Here are the 5 TikToks Jason watched:

Bad

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMejB5yCv/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMejBsLsx/

 

Transition

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMejBVE1y/

 

Coffee shop

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMejBHRDR/

 

Tourette’s

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMejSe7pE/

Direct download: 2021_02_27_0338.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:56pm PDT

We begin this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors with a frustrated voicemail about memes, and then discuss the epic collapse of late-stage capitalism aptly called “Texas.” Christian shares his latest thoughts on death, and we challenge one another to list the last three songs we’d like to hear if we knew we would die in 15 minutes. We hear from more listeners about their experiences within American evangelicalism, and then share biebers involving outlet malls and standing in line.  

Direct download: 2021_02_20_0337.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:27pm PDT

After lamenting our worsening eyesight and overall health, we hear a harrowing tale involving vomit and a corpse. We briefly revisit the issue of tipping restaurant workers, and then we springboard from Trump’s acquittal to the issue of cynicism (about which we take a couple voicemails). We then hear from a few callers recounting their weirdest church stories, after which we share biebers involving the weather app and people who just got stabbed.

Direct download: 2021_02_13_0336.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors we display a bit of ‘80s trivia at the top of the show (didn’t ALL 6th graders watch Falcon Crest back then?). We then springboard from a caller’s views on tipping restaurant servers to a lesson on class solidarity (meaning the person making slightly better poverty wages than you is not your enemy). We talk about what we’ve been watching lately, and then discuss the issue of cynicism, its causes, its dangers, and its solution. Christian tries out a new segment on Jason without his knowledge, and then we share biebers involving car tech and slow predators.

Direct download: 2021_02_06_0335.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:57pm PDT

We begin this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors by hearing about Christian’s recent vacation which, true to form, included a trip to the ER and an emergency surgery. We hear from a listener with some interesting (and horrible) restaurant advice for Jason, and then hear from a frustrated caller with some thoughts on the whole COVID shutdown. We break down (insofar as we are able) the Gamestop/Reddit controversy, and then share biebers involving pain and poor pronunciation.

Direct download: 2021_01_29_0334.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:55pm PDT

Direct download: 2021_01_24_0333.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:55pm PDT

Direct download: 2021_01_15_0332.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:24pm PDT

Direct download: 2021_01_07_0331.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:48pm PDT

After a quick debrief about 2020, we turn our attention to the all-important question of whether old-timey cowboys were turned on by lesbians or not (it’s complicated, lotta ins lotta outs). We talk about our Christmas haul, and then turn our attention to the (very American) notion of rugged individualism and its political consequences, especially during a pandemic. We touch upon the FX series A Teacher and discuss the power dynamics involved, after which we share biebers involving rap songs and noisy Teslas.

Direct download: 2021_01_02_0330.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:44pm PDT

1