Drunk Ex-Pastors

We begin this episode of DXP by revisiting the topic of the inevitability of death (but not inconsequential deaths, deaths that actually matter). We then choose the meanest, drunkest, and funniest voicemails we have received over the past few months and turn the tables by calling these listeners live on the air. We discuss the therapeutic use of psychedelics, which leads to the issue of how much mistrust of traditional western medicine is appropriate. Biebers involve verbiage and stop sign etiquette.

Direct download: 2019_12_17_0283.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors we play a listener’s voicemail about death, which leads us into a discussion about so-called “Optimistic Nihilism,” a view that says that we can still find beauty in the world despite everything being pointless and destined to ruin. We then turn our attention to a recent study suggesting that people living in red states have worse—and significantly shorter—lives than their blue-state-dwelling superiors. Biebers involve search engines and fatty nuts.

Direct download: 2019_12_11_0282.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:41pm PDT

DXP #281 begins with a voicemail from an old friend, after which we give an update about whether both of us will actually be on our upcoming cruise. We debate about which ‘80s films are the most iconic, and then weigh in a bit on the new (and controversial) Peloton ad. After discussing the 2020 election we muse a bit on the topic of mortality and death, and then talk about which animals are OK to eat, if any. Biebers involve towels and gunshots.

Direct download: 2019_12_03_0281.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:43am PDT

In this episode of DXP Jason selflessly volunteers to do the drinking for both himself and Christian (we’ll let you decide if this was a good idea or not). Jason gives Christian his birthday present, and then we get a brief stroke update. We discuss the conservative pathology that always needs an enemy to fight against, then we debate about just how pessimistic we should be about the world. We address some listeners’ questions about veganism, after which we share our biebers about annoying containers.

Direct download: 2019_11_27_0280.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:24pm PDT

Episode #279 begins with a voicemail mocking us because of Veterans’ Day (well, one of us in particular). We talk a bit about our new studio and then touch upon the latest impeachment developments, after which we turn our attention to the various health benefits of being vegan (which Christian promises he is not). We hear from a caller who singlehandedly solves the bee population problem with science, and are treated to another listener’s rendition of a relevant ‘80s TV theme song.  

Direct download: 2019_11_22_0279.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:47pm PDT

In this somewhat shortened episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors we share the real reason for last week’s hiatus (and no, it wasn’t just because we are remodeling our studio). This is a must-hear episode….  

Direct download: 2019_11_12_0278.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:28pm PDT

In DXP #277 we are again reminded of our “guilty pleasure” status for our evangelical listeners. We take a voicemail about whether churchgoers are aware of their pastors’ salaries, and then learn from another listener that we may be in significant legal peril. We talk about Kanye and that dead ISIS guy, and then are joined by Seth Taylor to discuss whether the demons that live inside of us are the kinds with horns and forked tongues, or are some other kind of Satanic underlings.  

Direct download: 2019_10_29_0277.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

DXP #276 begins with more woes about a certain online course, after which we wax semi-serious about our desire to be remembered after we die. We take calls about whether our president is actually mentally handicapped, whether the whole pronoun thing is a bigger deal than we realized, and whether God could have just created us already in heaven in order to skip all the hassle. We revisit the issue of rising tides, and then make another unannounced call to a random listener.

Direct download: 2019_10_22_0276.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

DXP #275 begins with a voicemail arguing that “America the Beautiful” actually has a point. We then revisit the topics of alien life and the nature of reality itself, bringing recent books and documentaries to bear on the discussion. We call a butt-dialer, and then turn the conversation to The Great Hack and the issue of digital data mining. We take a call about using Venmo to get more tips, and then listen to Ben Shapiro threaten to kill people. Biebers involve spelling and online courses.

Direct download: 2019_10_15_0275.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:20am PDT

In this episode of DXP we hear some more valet woes and then listen to all the reasons why traveling through America is a big waste of time. We discuss a recent documentary about Robert Lazar and his claim to have reverse-engineered a flying saucer at Area 51, which leads to a conversation about science and so-called paranormal phenomena. We do our first-ever live interview with a lucky patron, and then share our biebers involving boarding planes and hyperlinks.

Direct download: 2019_10_08_0274.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:00pm PDT

We begin episode #273 of DXP by recounting the events that led one of us to be whisked away from a concert in Seattle to the hospital in an ambulance. We then share a couple voicemails demonstrating how speaking in tongues works, after which we discuss racism against Asians. We pose a question to the scientific community that they have clearly never thought to consider, we discuss the recent impeachment proceedings, and then share our biebers involving courtesy and talking outside.

Direct download: 2019_10_01_0273.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:59pm PDT

In this episode of DXP we begin by discussing Bieber and Lambos, after which we ponder whether there really is such a thing as the “science” of nutrition (mainly because we’re mad that we’re not thinner than we are). Jason shares some fresh frustration at his workplace and the people who frequent the place, which leads to a conversation about the difference between making judgments and judgmentalism (as in, does the cover actually reveal a lot about the book itself?). Biebers involve zippers and lotion.

Direct download: 2019_09_29_0272.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:48pm PDT

Episode #271 of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with a voicemail from a very inebriated caller pledging to pull his support from another popular podcast and giving it to us. We then address another listener’s comments about the charismatic movement and explore the nature of our own early faith, after which we spend some time reflecting on Bill Maher’s recent controversial statements in favor of fat-shaming. Biebers involve pushing buttons and careless maids.

Direct download: 2019_09_17_0271.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:34pm PDT

We begin DXP #270 by celebrating our improved sound quality, after which Christian talks about his new diet. A voicemail launches a discussion about comedy and conservatism, and then we pivot to the issues of climate science and postmodernism. “Dick Move, God” makes its return, after which we debate whether children have the right to online privacy. After a few remarks about gun control we share our biebers, which involve pee and human resource departments.

Direct download: 2019_09_13_0270.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:06pm PDT

In this episode of DXP we hear about an exciting new job opportunity for Christian, and then discuss a recent meme we shared but then deleted due to it being “controversial” (this leads into a discussion of controversial comedy in general). We answer a caller’s question about Jason’s late-night intimacy, and then discuss a mystery whose secrets we guess we’ll never know. We address another caller’s questions about psychedelics (which leads to a discussion about demons), after which we share our biebers.

Direct download: 2019_09_08_0269.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:36pm PDT

In this episode of DXP Jason gives a brief update on his potential future as a restauranteur, and Christian shares some stories from his recent boating adventure (most of which center around the age-old question of how you’re supposed to poop in such cramped quarters). We debate whether lying about stuff makes it true, and then discuss the HBO show Euphoria. We take a call about Gen-Xers vs. Millennials, and then discuss the topic of death. Biebers involve PC culture and service charges.

Direct download: 2019_08_27_0268.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:45pm PDT

In this episode of DXP we discuss what is perhaps the greatest Bible lesson ever given, after which we talk about the good-looking-ness of actors (or lack thereof). We tackle the issue of how not to notice hot women around your wife, and then discuss the new documentary about the Christian Right, The Family. We disagree about some recent comments by Bill Maher, and disagree again about whether religious kids are less compassionate than normal ones. We conclude with a bieber about wedding photographers.

Direct download: 2019_08_14_0267.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:23pm PDT

In this episode of DXP we learn a little more about Christian’s “DNA,” and Jason shares a couple stories about valet life. We take a call from a listener with thoughts on whether Trump’s recent tweets are racist, and then discuss the mass shootings in El Paso and Dayton (or as Trump calls it, “Toledo”). We then chat with Bill Olien, one of our first patrons, about faith, music, and outreach to the poor and marginalized. Biebers involve running boards and backing that thang up.  

Direct download: 2019_08_07_0266.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:51pm PDT

In this episode of DXP we talk a bit about the new HBO miniseries “Chernobyl,” which leads to a discussion about why Hollywood makes all foreign people British. We turn our attention to an old pic that Jason posted in which his father is the same age as we both are now, prompting a discussion of whether 40 really is the new 30. We talk about Reagan’s racism and whether Trump’s recent tweets are actually racist at all, and then discuss Jeffrey Epstein’s plans to jizz all over the world.

Direct download: 2019_08_04_0265.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:36pm PDT

DXP #264 begins with some banter about new tech and NBC’s Parks & Rec (which features prominently throughout the episode). We discuss a new business opportunity; after which we answer a caller’s question about whether it’s weird that Hamilton was played by a person of color. We turn our attention to the so-called Transformed Wife and her lady-splaining to us what men really want in a woman. We conclude with biebers, which involve right-hand turns and online password requirements.

Direct download: 2019_07_24_0264.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

In this episode of DXP we debrief a bit about the wedding Christian recently attended in Texas, after which Jason teaches us how to speak Chinese (which is not racist). We discuss the return of Aziz Ansari, and then debate whether DNA is total bullshit. We respond to some pushback about whether of not we’re successful, and then take a call about sowing and reaping in the Bible. Biebers involve airplane armrests and Sprint’s customer service.   

Direct download: 2019_07_21_0263.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:39pm PDT

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors we discuss the martyr complex of American evangelicals and seek to determine the REAL reason we hate them (hint: It has nothing to do with Jesus). We take some pushback from a caller about our take on female athletes’ pay, after which we consider becoming investigative journalists. We discuss the so-called gifts of the Spirit, and then display awe at the mystery that is “the sun.” We briefly talk about Jeffrey Epstein and “deepfakes,” and then close with biebers.  

Direct download: 2019_07_10_0262.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

In this episode of DXP we debrief about our recent Alaska cruise, and then congratulate the U.S. women’s national soccer team on their victory (which led to a discussion about their receiving less pay than men, as well as about the nature of capitalism in general). We talk briefly about a short-lived Twitter feud one of us got into, and then answer a listener’s questions about whether Christians are really cannibals and whether we think morality is objective. Biebers involve back-up cams and self-checkout.

Direct download: 2019_07_07_0261.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

In DXP #260 we debrief a bit about Jason’s time “in his cups” last week, after which we observe a scientific mystery regarding hair growth. We then delve into the theology behind speaking in tongues. (What is it? Why do Pentecostals do it? And are they really just cunning linguists?) We answer a caller’s question about parenting and losing your religion at the same time, and then embark on a new record for the amount of time spent talking about pig hearts. Biebers involve mortgage interest and last week’s bieber.

Direct download: 2019_06_27_0260.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

Writing a description for DXP #259 is a bit of a challenge since yours truly did a shot every 15 minutes the show went on. But as far as I can remember we talked about impeachment, answered some pushback about voting standards, and discussed whether the religious notion of eternity mitigates against the meaningfulness of life. We explain to non-former-evangelicals what things like the Great Tribulation and Mark of the Beast are. Biebers involve the challenges of walking and what is supposedly tolerable.

Direct download: 2019_06_19_0259.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

We begin DXP #258 by revisiting the natural disaster that our fervent and effectual prayers thankfully averted. We then introduce a new topic in our segment, “I Guess We’ll Never Know,” involving why the makers of spaghetti can’t even speak their own language. We launch a new segment which has us introducing and defending belief in something preposterous, after which we address the topic of assisted suicide and whether mental health is really a thing. Biebers involve empty threats and door handles.  

Direct download: 2019_06_14_0258.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

In DXP #257 we are put on blast for not knowing how to build a house (of which we alone are ignorant, apparently). We discuss the option of skipping to the front of the Judgment-Day line, and then address the tactics of the rabid opponents of Planned Parenthood. We get some feedback about our message from a mistress, and then do another “I Guess We’ll Never Know” segment. The topic of suicide comes up, and then we launch into biebers (which involve Chernobyl and cyclists).  

Direct download: 2019_06_07_0257.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

In DXP #256 we heed a request from a patron that one of us does a shot every 15 minutes throughout the duration of the show. We then put prayer to the test, coming before the Almighty in the aftermath or the devastating earthquake that rocked Los Angeles this past week. We discuss some recent documentaries, and then answer a caller’s question about religion and our children. In our DXP Confessions segment we hear from an actual mistress, and then get a sneak peek into a woman’s response to VR porn.  

Direct download: 2019_05_29_0256.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:57pm PDT

DXP #255 begins with a voicemail about tornadoes, as well as one calling us out on all these teased interviews we never seem to follow up on. We answer a caller’s question about leaving the faith, after which we consider a Go Fund Me campaign for a certain stab-wound victim. We discuss other listeners’ questions about everything from Christian celebrities to hangovers and from living abroad to what Jason actually believes. Biebers involve newsfeeds and false time limits.

Direct download: 2019_05_24_0255.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:23am PDT

In episode 254 of Drunk Ex-Pastors, after our usual combination of banter, non-sequiturs, and rabbit trails of distraction, we open the floor up to our patrons and other listeners by answering the questions they posed to us online. We discuss the various jobs we have had and which were our favorites, we talk about the best TV show theme songs from the ‘80s, what we’d do if we won the lottery, as well as many other topics. Biebers involve our eating habits and the removal of jewelry.

Direct download: 2019_05_14_0254.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:35pm PDT

We begin DXP #253 with a discussion about hobbies and why they’re not all they’re cracked up to be. We get some unsolicited dog-training advice, discuss the time-saving benefits of profiling people in the service industry, and break down the best way to give away millions of dollars. We answer a caller’s question about our experiences of God’s existence, and then discuss a controversial scene from Game of Thrones involving rape and torture. Biebers involve Hollywood cut-aways and gas.

Direct download: 2019_05_10_0253.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:44pm PDT

In episode #252 we hear a suggestion about distilling and branding our own liquor, after which we recount our past experiences regarding leaving our former church, Calvary Chapel. We discuss a couple recent Netflix documentaries about women we admire, and then address some charges of racism surrounding people’s responses to the Notre Dame fire. We respond to a caller’s comments about the God of Calvinism, and then hear another listener’s confession. Biebers involve wedding dates and campfires.                     

Direct download: 2019_05_03_0252.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:09pm PDT

In episode #251 of Drunk Ex-Pastors we spend some time arguing over whether old movies suck or not, as well as over why people get excited about long battle scenes in TV and films. We then turn our attention to the difficulty of spiritual deconstruction done in public, and how responsible we should feel toward those who were members of our former congregations. We then share our biebers, which involve audiences at concerts and, you guessed it, certain types of cars.

Direct download: 2019_04_24_0251.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:10pm PDT

In our sestercentennial episode of DXP we tease the audience about what it would take in order for us to start putting out a midweek show (it’s well within the real of possibility actually). We then engage a long-time fan’s input about having a minority president, after which we discuss a patron’s question about the value of history and what it has to teach us. We spend some time discussing another listener’s thoughts about the afterlife, and then share biebers involving hoods and credit card offers.                   

Direct download: 2019_04_21_0250.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:24pm PDT

DXP #249 begins with the introduction of a new addition to the family. We hear from a caller asking for further thoughts on our own spiritual and political deconstruction, and from another who wants to know whether ignorance really was bliss. We discuss the merits of having a girl president (wink), and then launch a new segment titled DXP Confessions which allows our listeners to call in and unburden their souls (warning, penance may be assigned). Biebers involve self-sabotage and D-bagging.                  

Direct download: 2019_04_10_0249.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

In DXP #248 we briefly debate whether it’s OK to dislike the movie “Us” without also being racist, after which we discuss the black inventor of the lightbulb whom you’ve never heard of because white people always take credit for everything. We revisit the water bottle issue, and then answer a caller’s question about how our respective processes of deconstruction affected our friendship. We break down a well-meaning Christian’s lament over the New Zealand mosque attacks, and finish, as always, with biebers.                 

Direct download: 2019_04_03_0248.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:06pm PDT

In episode #247 of Drunk Ex-Pastors we discuss the origin of various nicknames (as in, how the hell do you get “Peggy from “Margaret” or “Dick” from “Richard”?). We then turn our attention to the differences between Cardi B and Bill Cosby and whether it’s okay to drug people in order to just rob rather than rape them. We discuss the developments surrounding the Mueller report and then share our biebers (one involves whinging employees and the other focuses on drinking while riding a bike).                 

Direct download: 2019_03_30_0247.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:13pm PDT

For some reason, episode #246 of Drunk Ex-Pastors includes a lengthy discussion about masturbation despite the topic appearing nowhere in our outline. We discuss innovation and the recent documentary, The Inventor, and then we answer a caller’s question about where our views currently stand on spiritual matters (I think it is fair to say that both of us have undergone a bit of evolution in this area). Biebers involve pizza parties and people who assume zero responsibility for their own choices.                

Direct download: 2019_03_24_0246.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

Remember those ‘80s VSEs (“Very Special Episodes”) where a show like Facts of Life or Diff’rent Strokes would delve into some serious, dark territory? The first half of DXP #245 is kind of like that. After discussing death and loss, we turn our attention in the second half to celebrity comeuppance, fair wage policy, and whether the history of America is really just the history of various forms of fundamentalism. Biebers involve stop signs and T-shirts.               

Direct download: 2019_03_13_0245.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:00pm PDT

DXP #244 begins with some thoughts about HBO’s documentary, Leaving Neverland, which leads into a crazy story involving a certain casino and Ted Bundy. We hear back from a recent caller about the minimum wage, and then discuss how scared we should be of automation (things get a bit meta here). We get a bit of pushback about the whole “white Buddhists” thing, and then hear from another caller who has “come out” to his mom about his agnosticism. We end with a voicemail about, (you guessed it!) hell.              

Direct download: 2019_03_10_0244.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:09pm PDT

We begin DXP #243 by switching our disparaging remarks about Steven Tyler to a different glamrocker, after which we conclude—we promise—our discussion about scientific materialism and the meaning of life (because such a mundane topic must be so boring for people). We touch briefly upon the Cohen hearing, as well as push back a bit against what we consider to be ridiculous and PC-driven views on race and culture (we surely offend just about everyone here). Biebers involve physical trainers and the Krauts.            

Direct download: 2019_02_27_0243.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:51pm PDT

In DXP #242 we debrief a bit about the cruise we just took, after which we hear some pushback we got for being so dishonest (this leads into a discussion about media bias on the left and the right). We discuss a recent hotel-related documentary we watched, prompting a chat about the virtue of wealth. We then spend a fair bit of time fielding the objections we have heard about whether or not scientific materialism is “beautiful” (long-time listeners will appreciate the role-reversal in this discussion).            

Direct download: 2019_02_20_0242.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:00pm PDT

In episode #241 of Drunk Ex-Pastors we talk a bit about Bruce Sanguin’s book, Dismantled, discussing the issue of psychedelics and spirituality (prompting an aside about whether Jason has ever really had any true childhood trauma). We take calls from listeners about healthcare and whether minimum wage laws are a good thing, and then turn to our biebers, which are admittedly incredibly “first world” (going on Caribbean cruises can be very challenging).           

Direct download: 2019_02_06_0241.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

In this episode of DXP we talk a bit about the various films nominated for Best Picture (one of us has committed to watch them all before the event, the other hasn’t heard of any of them. We’ll let you guess who’s who). We take a dive into the conservative psyche and discuss whether it’s true that there are crazy zealots “on both sides” (it’s not). Before turning to our biebers—which involve truancy and a certain social media platform—we debate whether life without any afterlife can truly be meaningful.          

Direct download: 2019_02_01_0240.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

Episode #239 of DXP begins with a caller’s lament over our relative happiness, after which we take another listener’s question about the degree (if any) to which we experience “white guilt.” We discuss the communal aspect of sports and whether they are a positive part of society or a mere distraction from what matters. Biebers involve doctors and games that supposedly showcase our vocabularies.         

Direct download: 2019_01_28_0239.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:51pm PDT

Episode #238 of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with a listener’s question about how we’d feel about being undertakers, which then devolves into a self-exploration concerning just how much blatant theft we would be comfortable with (turns out, quite a bit). We discuss Trump and porn a bit (as separate topics, thankfully), and then address the recent Covington Catholic student controversy, bringing a bit of nuance to the issue. Biebers involve taxes and the passage of time.         

Direct download: 2019_01_21_0238.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:51am PDT

DXP #237 begins with a cruel attack on Christian and his obvious speech impediment (words are hard for some people!). We then discuss the recent Gillette ad targeting toxic masculinity, exploring issues like why it is so offensive for certain people to be told there’s room for improvement. We turn our attention to a documentary about social media influencers called The American Meme, discussing the pros and cons of the democratization and digitization of pretty much everything. Biebers involve pins and bad movie logic.        

Direct download: 2019_01_18_0237.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:10pm PDT

In DXP #236 we begin with some banter and a shot, after which we turn our attention to the recently leaked audio from Louis CK’s new comedy act (which many have criticized for his supposed mocking of school shooting victims and non-binary people), exploring the role of comedy in our current cultural climate. We then discuss firebrand congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and the various controversies surrounding her behavior and agenda. Biebers involve recipes and ice (the room-temp kind you wear).       

Direct download: 2019_01_13_0236.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:50pm PDT

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors we spend some time shooting the breeze as usual, after which we address some of the pushback we received over last week's interview with Mark Gober, revisiting such topics as "Can atheists be good people?", "Is materialist science too limiting?", and "Which kinds of spoons are best for bending with our mind?" As is sometimes the case, the two of us disagreed somewhat, but thankfully no one resorted to mind-melding the other. Biebers involved autocorrect and tombstones.       

Direct download: 2019_01_04_0235.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:30pm PDT