Drunk Ex-Pastors

In this episode of drunk Ex-Pastors, we begin with a capitulation on Christian’s part toward the color-blind, and then move on to what a man’s chin and legs tell us about his sexual orientation. Jason nods his head and furrows his brow as Christian expresses his frustration over DXP’s Catholic listeners, after which we take a call from an active military listener explaining what exactly “lawful orders” are. Another caller seeks clarity on whether acting gay sends you to hell or whether just being that way is sufficient. We then share some preliminary thoughts on a documentary about the so-called “Purity Movement” (which is that thing of when earnest evangelicals have sex before marriage, but only after promising not to). The topic of open relationships arises, as does the thorny issue of Ahmed’s ticking time bomb. Oops, we mean clock. We turn our attention to the refugee crisis (noting the irony of which segment of society is embodying the “Hate Thy Neighbor” ethic), a discussion which dovetails into the issue of whether democracy can really beat theocracy in a fight. Jason is biebered by Eastern European Mexicans, while Christian’s bieber ends up focusing on the real reason his clothes don’t fit right.

Also, it really is a small world, after all. Just ask Matt.

Direct download: 2015_09_22_0064.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

Podcast #63: Civil and Sexual Abuse of Power

In this episode, the Drunk Ex-Pastors respond to a listener’s misgivings about how we handled the Kim Davis controversy, which leads to a discussion about elected officials, civil disobedience, and what Jesus thinks about it all. Jason tries to tell a story about his dad, which Christian interrupts with something about his own father that is so poignant that it would move most normal people to tears (Jason, irritated at the interruption, politely listens until he can finish his own story). We return to porn (as men so often do), this time tackling the issue of how many boobs a person has to see before he becomes a sociopathic necrophile. Christian is biebered by Catholics who think like Calvinists, and Jason has no bieber since we ran out of time.

Also, that’s right, we forgot: YOUR WIFE’S DEAD!


Direct download: 2015_09_14_0063.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

Podcast #62: Slippery Slopes and Christian Patriotism

In this episode, the DXPs banter a bit about Kim Davis’s eye of the tiger, wanting to rock, and all the people God screwed over just to make a point, after which we take a call about the propriety of Christians’ selling their testimonies for money. We bat around the clearly unthought-through idea of doing a Drunk Ex-Pastors college tour, and then field a question about slippery-slope arguments against gay marriage (do they lead to slippery-slope arguments against a farmer marrying his own sister? What if his sister is a dog, who’s black?). We address Detroit’s being enslaved by the dark lord of the Underworld (as evidenced by a new statue of Satan being erected there), although Jason is puzzled because he assumed that Detroit has belonged to Lucifer since the late ‘90s at least. This leads us into, you guessed it, a slippery-slope discussion concerning whether theocracy really is a good idea anymore, because ISIS. Jason gets all Luddite-y again because he fears the Internet, and Christian explains why, in addition to wanting to murder babies, he hates all cops. Jason is in too good a mood to have a bieber, but Christian picks up his slack.


Also, Pig-Taints got your tummy a-hurtin’? Two words: Peppy Bismilk.

Direct download: 2015_09_09_0062.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT

In this episode of DXP “we”—Jason and the listening audience—are granted privileged access into a private therapy session between Christian and porn-addict recovery specialist Seth Taylor (tackling such sensitive topics as “How does Christian know he’s actually clinically addicted?”; “How often is so often that it becomes a problem”; and “Masturbation-related injuries: what causes them and how they can be avoided in the future”). Semi-kidding aside, we were thrilled to have Seth on the show: he’s an author, mystic, and overall deep thinker who brings a whole lot of humanity to the table as we discuss spirituality, sexuality, and addiction (Jason imagines that this is precisely what Jesus would have done). Enjoy!

Direct download: 2015_09_02_0061.mp3
Category:Uncategorized -- posted at: 11:16pm PDT

Jason and Christian begin episode 60 of Drunk Ex-Pastors by enjoying some immediate karma for a lady who has it coming. They then lament the downfall of their favorite Survivor contestant and Fox and Friends correspondent, Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Going from bad to worse, the DXPs then discuss Michelle Carter, pretty much the worst girlfriend any guy could ask for. They then move on to Kim Davis, present-day “Rosa Parks” and Christian martyr, sacrificing her own freedom to make sure the sanctity of marriage is kept intact for heterosexual serial brides like herself. (Not only did three men marry her, but one of these apparently very desperate men married her twice!) Jason likes whatever Christian tells him to like and Christian likes his victory over the establishment. Christian is biebered by yet another way his body is attempting to do him in, and Jason is biebered either by being advertised to or by his own hypocrisy. He’s unsure. 

Also, this episode sucked before Chris [...]
Direct download: 2015_09_04_0060.mp3
Category:Uncategorized -- posted at: 10:00pm PDT