Drunk Ex-Pastors

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors, Jason and Christian jump on the Seahawks bandwagon. They lament their failed childhood radio careers. They tell stories of gluttony, obstructive sleep apnea, and mushrooms from the cruise. They talk about how car salesman get revenge for bad reviews. They mock (and refuse) the apology of the punching pastor. They come up with more stereotypes for white people. They discuss whether or not places can be holy or sacred and what that means for Catholics who want to get married on the beach. Jason is biebered by people who are biebered by Michael Moore being biebered by snipers. Christian is biebered by people who don’t recognize that movies are the highest form of art.

Also, is love in the air for Jason and Christian on the high seas? Their cabin boy thinks so.

Direct download: 2015_01_21_0027.mp3
Category:Catholicism -- posted at: 9:00pm PST

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors, Christian and Jason start off with a voicemail from a listener who describes an unsuccessful attempt at introducing a friend to the podcast which ends with that friend thinking they’re racist. A question about Christian’s agnosticism leads to a discussion about whether or not the Bible is reliable and if Jesus could be who the Bible claims he is. Another caller, not realizing that Jason and Christian have been labeled as racist, brings up the issue of racial stereotypes. Alcohol encourages them to go ahead and take on the topic. A couple of other callers ask questions about how Christian’s and Jason’s personal lives were affected by their change in beliefs, which Christian is happy to answer. Jason remains dodgy. Finally, Jason is biebered by the fact that money makes it so that he can’t be more lazy.

Also, Jason admits to feeling emotions once after some champagne.

Direct download: 2014_12_17_0026.mp3
Category:Alcohol -- posted at: 9:00pm PST

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors, after some childhood memories of thrown Brussels sprouts and spilled honey, a shot in honor of their fine listeners, one of Jason’s stories from the car dealership, and Christian trying to talk himself out of buying a new car, Jason and Christian analyze some of the criticism of the podcast, delving into the nature of the podcast itself. After a third attempt at explaining that they don’t hate Capitalism, they examine the death of Christians compared to the death of non-Christians and whether or not dying well proves anything, and eventually whether or not anything proves anything. After a break to refill drinks and order pizza, Christian and Jason discuss why God keeps playing tricks on humans, such as creating the earth to look so old. They then enjoy some spontaneous feedback from listeners via Facebook and are interrupted by the pizza arriving early. Jason is biebered by having to travel more than five miles ever [...]

Direct download: 2015_01_06_0025.mp3
Category:Culture -- posted at: 9:00pm PST

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors, after a quick discussion about the ways they would abuse lucid dreaming and why living like Jesus would completely screw up one’s life, Christian and Jason analyze the recently finished yearlong experiment of Ryan Bell, a former pastor who decided last January to live like an atheist and report his findings. They then address feedback from listeners on the topics of scientific theory (it’s just theory!), torture (it’s totally OK!), and Capitalism (they hate it, obviously). They then address the recent suicide of Leelah (Joshua) Alcorn, a transgender teen who was told by their parents that “God doesn’t make mistakes.” Jason is biebered by rhyming with poor timing, and Christian is biebered by people who are biebered by New Year’s resolutions.

Also, Christian explains why you should be happy that your partner would like to have sex with other people. 

Direct download: 2015_01_01_0024.mp3
Category:Religion -- posted at: 9:00pm PST

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors, Jason wants to know if they’re recording, but he finally has a reason to worry. Jason then regales us with stories from the car dealership, including a recent test drive that went bad, especially for a pedestrian who may or may not be completely fine. Let’s pretend he is. Christian and Jason then talk about “tough love” and whether or not Christians should shun people who don’t live according to their morals. They then discuss the “Christian Right,” how it came to be, and more importantly, whether it should be. A caller claims to have more joy and freedom as a former Christian than she did as a Christian, which we all know is completely impossible. Finally, Jason is biebered by how much more difficult it is to have a conference call today than it was twenty years ago.

Direct download: 2014_12_24_0023.mp3
Category:Capitalism -- posted at: 9:00pm PST

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors, Christian and Jason go over some new iTunes reviews of the podcast, one of which is two stars and actually ends up being somewhat accurate. They then discuss the new CEO of Sony, Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un. After a discussion about raising money as missionaries, they take on the concept of over-criminalization and whether or not less laws would cause everyone to start shooting heroine into their eyeballs. They then take a question about how censored their childhoods were and then another question about whether or not atheists are just as bad as fundamentalist Christians. They then reminisce about a fight they had over a lighter and Christian is biebered by joint Facebook accounts.

Also, they get a voice mail from Satan.

Direct download: 2014_12_17_0022.mp3
Category:Kim Jong-un -- posted at: 9:00pm PST

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors, Christian has to deal with an obstinate child named Jason who refuses to wear his headphones and stalls for twenty minutes on a shot he doesn’t want to drink. After compromising, they discuss the manipulative practice of attempting to create Christians known as the “altar call,” and what role this played in them being asked to leave the Calvary Chapel pastorate. They then listen to a wounded warrior describe his experience back in The States which drives home the realities of war in a way that many people don’t ever recognize. Jason and Christian (or Christian and Jason) then address listener feedback including why it’s impossible for Christian ministers to be authentic and whether or not being “born again” requires a complete change of personality. Finally, they are both biebered by torture, but not enough to distract them from pizza.

Also, Jason gives his brother the best bir [...]

Direct download: 2014_12_10_0021.mp3
Category:Catholicism -- posted at: 9:00pm PST

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors, after taking a “holiday” shot suggestion submitted by a listener and getting an update on the woeful life of a car salesman, Christian and Jason springboard off of something Jason said in the last podcast into whether or not Christianity should be any different than any other organization or religion. (Or as Christian likes to wonder, should God make a difference?) They then address a listener’s voicemail about speaking in tongues and whether or not anyone is actually doing it for real, especially 3rd graders being filmed by the news. They then address the homicide of Eric Garner by Staten Island police and attempt to answer the difficult question of whether or not being black and weighing 350 pounds is grounds enough for being strangled to death by law enforcement. (Hint: No. Never.) Jason is biebered by literally everything.

Also, Jason uses the word “psycholologize.” [...]

Direct download: 2014_12_10_0020.mp3
Category:Uncategorized -- posted at: 12:38pm PST

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors, Jason and Christian “drunkenly blather on” about a couple of the podcast’s detractors who have quite clearly never listened to the show. They then discuss one of the more important and volatile topics they’ve discussed lately: the new Star Wars teaser trailer. A caller’s comments then launch them into a discussion about skepticism and miracles, and whether or not Jesus’s miracles can beat up Mohammed’s miracles (and whether or not that would make Christian be a Christian). After a voicemail from someone who is definitely not from England, they take another entertaining voicemail from someone who doesn’t dislike the podcast a lot, which leads to a discussion about re-evaluating beliefs based on personal experience. Christian is biebered by insecure drivers and Jason is biebered by having more than one set of silverware.

Also, Christian throws up immediately following t [...]

Direct download: 2014_12_03_0019.mp3
Category:Star Wars -- posted at: 9:00pm PST

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors (emphasis on “drunk” for Christian), Jason puts down the whiskey and drinks beer to assuage the wrath of the Lutherans. Christian claims that referees only get in the way of good sportsmanship, in much the same way that the police get in the way of polite looting. After acknowledging that nothing gets accomplished without a good riot, they answer listener voicemails which eventually lead them to whether or not a terminally ill patient should have the right to die on their own terms before God is done tormenting them with a brain tumor. Jason is then biebered by genre-less radio stations and Christian is biebered by the defiling of his favorite holiday.

Also, Jason falls asleep while Christian is talking.

Direct download: 2014_11_26_0018.mp3
Category:Referees -- posted at: 9:03pm PST