Drunk Ex-Pastors

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors, Jason and Christian start off the show with an experimental shot meant to give them wings. Jason then imparts his best “white-trash scheme” as a free service to anyone needing to send a letter but who is short on postage. As Jason transforms before our ears into a better and better car salesman (and a less and less trustworthy person, obviously), Christian begins Jason’s speech therapy, which, unfortunately for Jason, may last the entire episode. They then check in on the status of Jason’s haters and as a free public service announcement give their listeners a simple way to avoid the Ebola virus. Christian is biebered by (not drunk) ex-pastor Bob Coy, the “Tiger Woods” of Calvary Chapel, while Jason is biebered by any car that costs more than $30,000. (Unless, of course, he is selling it to you.) 

Direct download: 2014_10_15_0012.mp3
Category:Alcohol -- posted at: 12:39am PDT

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors, Jason and Christian analyze why Jason gave up a comfortable job with a high salary to potentially end up sleeping in his car in Christian’s driveway. (Unfortunately, Jason no longer has a car, which is ironic considering his new career attempt.) The ex-pastors then take on Jason’s critics, of which there are many, who seem to delight in his demise and what they consider to be his inevitable downfall. Speaking of downfalls, Jason and Christian also address those particular critics who seem to be lacking the sense of humor necessary to deal with the “Rev. Jason Stellman” being on a podcast called Drunk Ex-Pastors.

Their resident heckler “badclowney” is addressed as well as [...]

Direct download: 2014_10_08_0011.mp3
Category:Catholicism -- posted at: 8:22pm PDT

In this edition of Drunk Ex-Pastors, Jason and Christian enjoy their first taste of sponsorship, and love it. (Probably because it tastes like Whiskey.) Christian recounts how his family’s recent vacation to Hawaii caused some problems for his daughter at school which opens up a discussion about education in general and how to keep kids from becoming mindless drones. A listener’s message moves the conversation from education in general to sex education, which causes some disagreement between Jason and Christian. Perhaps it’s because Jason doesn’t have all the years of parenting experience that Christian has, or perhaps it’s because Christian’s years of parenting experience have caused him to become jaded. You’ll have to decide. After a short unintentional rant against Capitalism, they end with an homage to Entourage.

Direct download: 2014_10_02_0010.mp3
Category:Culture -- posted at: 9:45pm PDT

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors, Jason presents Christian with a gift that he needs but will never use; the discussion turns to whether or not the police force attracts people who were picked on in school and therefore need to take out their frustrations on the powerless and weak; we discuss the recent controversy surrounding the lawsuit against our former church, Calvary Chapel, by two of its now-deceased founding pastor’s children; we answer a Twitter follower’s question about whether Jesus and Paul thought hell was a real place of eternal torment; and lastly, Jason exhibits his laser-sharp understanding of how to win at football (besides just shooting lots of homeruns, which is obvious).

Direct download: 2014_09_27_0009.mp3
Category:Culture -- posted at: 11:27pm PDT

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors, Christian gives Jason a very special gift (hint: it’s small, sings like a little Canadian boy, and you put it in your mouth); we take feedback from a female listener who is frustrated by her former time in the church when all her “sisters in Christ” thought she wanted to steal their husbands; we delve into the issue of language and labels, focusing on whether and when it’s OK to use “the N-word” as well as whether jokingly labeling stuff “gay” or “retarded” is a retarded, gay thing to do; Jason bitches about his culinary needs never being met, while we hoist a poignant shot which Christian saved for the very end of the show.

Direct download: 2014_09_16_0008.mp3
Category:Culture -- posted at: 11:33am PDT

In our seventh episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors, Jason explains why he doesn’t like movies containing red-headed twin children or the Holocaust; Christian reveals some sobering facts about ISIS and their plot to take over America (or just kill us all, we’re not sure at this point); we take some listener feedback asking about Mark Driscoll’s penis and who it really belongs to; and lastly, Christian complains about the insensitivity of certain drivers’ parking habits, while Jason laments all progress in general.

Direct download: 2014_09_09_0007.mp3
Category:Culture -- posted at: 10:54am PDT

In this edition of the podcast, Jason and Christian discuss Jason’s lack of proper decorum at the poker table, and then spend the remainder fielding a listener question about the infamous celebrity selfie leak.

This topic leads pretty naturally into a discussion of rape culture, during which Christian accuses Jason of contributing to it, thereby displaying his lack of philosophical nuance and sophistication. 

Direct download: 2014_09_05_0006.mp3
Category:Culture -- posted at: 11:37am PDT

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors, Jason and Christian keep their promise to do a shot in honor of all those who shared their podcast on social media this past week, and go on to extol the many benefits of alcohol, and how the moderate enjoyment of various libations can help (in the immortal words of Pink) “get this party started.” They also take some listener feedback and discuss issues like gun control, ISIS, and why Jason hates animals. God, he really is just a horrible, horrible person…

Direct download: 2014_09_04_0005.mp3
Category:Culture -- posted at: 11:25pm PDT

In this edition of Drunk Ex-Pastors (which is perhaps the most  entertaining and least  substantive one yet), Christian and Jason kick things off with a shot of 100 proof Southern Comfort, and then ramble semi-coherently about everything from the volume of Christian’s vomiting to whether one of them could kill the other without getting caught, and from the silliness of “paying it forward” to whether girls who look like their fathers are hotter than those who resemble their moms. And for the first time they take listener feedback and address one of their detractors. Also, they drink way more than usual.

Direct download: 2014_08_28_0004_final.mp3
Category:Culture -- posted at: 10:12pm PDT

In this edition of Drunk Ex-Pastors, Christian explains the “Ice Bucket Challenge” to Jason (call him dense, but it’s not apparent to him how pouring ice water over his head will help cure a disease); they soften their stance on the Michael Brown shooting a tad; they argue about whether more than one church-goer in 100,000 actually believes the things he claims to; Christian continues his complaint about air travel, this time focusing on overly-talkative slash voyeuristic travelers sitting next to him, and Jason accidentally (but kind of on purpose) endorses Huxley’s description of dystopic culture, except it’s not stupid people at the bottom of the food-chain, it’s unkempt ones. And they consign the other to hell several times.

Direct download: 2014_08_21_0003.mp3
Category:Culture -- posted at: 9:44pm PDT