Drunk Ex-Pastors (general)

We begin this episode of DXP with the admission that it is possible, albeit unlikely, that the earth is flat. We then delve into the issue of taking the Lord’s Name in vain, which that sentence may have done, after which we heal a listener’s marriage by explaining how to pronounce Feb-you-ary. We take a call about Christian’s agnosticism, which leads into a discussion about whether knowing stuff is overrated or not. After our break we embark on a lighthearted romp through the not-thorny-at-all issue of what actually constitutes pedophilia. We anticipate blowback on this. Christian’s “Feeding Friendsy” tackles the issue of whether Bernie Sanders wants The Islamic States of America, and he is biebered by having to sign his name so often.

Also, Milo is still a piece of shit.

Direct download: 2017_0305_0139.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:47pm PST

We’re not gonna lie, our #138th episode of DXP is quite voicemail-heavy (Hey, lay off. We had been fighting. Plus, we love hearing from our peoples). We begin with a brief Trump voicemail and then move on toward ANOTHER nitpicky piece of crap reminder that Jason doesn’t know how to pronounce things. Christian is corrected about his fallacious views about Einstein, while another caller expresses heartfelt and poignant opinions about WTF? Some NBA player named after a Mr. Mister song? We address playing the piano, eating at Subway, and then hear from an honest-to-goodness therapist who weighs in on whether last week’s discussion about vulnerability was correct or not (although she may be hiding behind an attachment disorder due to unresolved daddy issues, we’re not sure). We revisit Milo Yiannopoulos very briefly, after which we launch into our “Feeding Friendsy” and “Dick Move, God” segments (Hitler was not a socialist, and gay rapists and virgin daughters don’t mix). Christian is biebered by small spaces, while Jason is biebered by Hollywood trying to be too Christian.

Also, if you’re a fan of our Lord, don’t name your baby after Him.

Direct download: 2017_02_24_0138.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:03pm PST

Podcast #137: The One with No Trump and Tons of Therapy

Episode #137 begins with a listener’s challenge to go an entire show without mentioning D*n*ld Tr*mp, and believe it or not, we succeeded! We then reveal a bit about a new project we will soon embark upon (hint: it’s pretty much the best gift idea, like, EVER). We talk a bit about the nature of our discussions IRL and how they differ from those on the air, as well as about the value of constantly second-guessing ourselves. After our break we delve into mutual examination mode, with Christian diagnosing Jason as having jealousy and anger issues, and Jason diagnosing Christian as disproportionately desiring certainty in relationships. We spend a few minutes talking about Milo Yiannopoulos and whether people like him are even worth engaging, after which we share our biebers (Christian’s is about retirement funds, while Jason’s is about overly-excited audiences).

Also, Christian finished a whole book for the first time in years, in a single day! You’ll never guess who the author was….

Direct download: 2017_02_19_0137.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PST

Podcast #136: Piano, the Holocaust, and Twitter

Episode #136 begins with a caller’s attempt to put Jason in a moral dilemma, which fails because he doesn’t really pay attention to morals all that much. We then get marriage advice from a well-meaning listener and somehow find ourselves on a rabbit trail pertaining to the relationship between music and language. We weigh in on the current refugee crisis and tackle the conspiracy theory about Obama seeking to sabotage Trump (while kitesurfing in the Caribbean, apparently). We then heed the solemn warnings of the Holocaust Museum which basically call Trump Hitler 2.0. Christian’s “Feeding Friendsy” segment focuses on our president’s Twitter account, and meanwhile Jason is biebered by crap music producers, while Christian shares a listener’s bieber about traffic signals.

Also, just because Christian won’t gaymarry Jason, if Ryan Gosling were available then all bets may be off…

Direct download: 2017_02_11_0136.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:57pm PST

Podcast #135: Trump and Christianity

This episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with a feel-good voicemail, and then we introduce our new venture, the DXP Mediacast (hint, watch the movie About Time. Then watch Chef). We spend some time breaking down the poignant and thoughtful words of our new president at the National Prayer Breakfast, after which we take a caller’s question about whether being religious necessarily includes being an elitist. A listener’s call causes us to wonder if Trump is himself the greatest prophylactic ever invented, and another caller wants to know how to navigate a relationship in which the two partners can’t agree on spiritual matters. We discuss Trump’s “travel ban,” which segues into a larger discussion of whether anything the president does comports with anything resembling Christianity. Lastly, we discuss whether it’s fair for Christian leaders to whine about being persecuted when the government actually singles them out for special financial favors. Jason is biebered by people’s irrational brand loyalty.

Also, Christian’s “Feeding Friendsy” will make you really mad. Just saying.

Direct download: 2017_02_02_0135.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:28pm PST

Podcast #134: Peter Rollins

In this episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors we welcome to the studio philosopher and theologian Peter Rollins, after whose Lucky Charms they always are. We discuss everything from Radical Theology to La La Land, tackling such topics as whether any of us truly knows what we believe, and whether atheism vs. theism is a false dichotomy (and on that note, you’ll be surprised to hear which one of us Pete thinks believes in God the most). Pete’s background in psychoanalysis will surely make everyone who listens feel like they’ve had a therapy session, and his accent will make you wonder if he has in fact met Bono.

Also, Pete is biebered by biebers.

Direct download: 2017_01_22_0134.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PST

Podcast #133: Films and Friendship

In an episode of Drunk Ex-Pastors that is filled with rabbit trails and red herrings, we begin by being read the riot act by some nature lover with an obvious canyon fetish, and then we are gently told by another caller that we may need to up our game or risk starvation and poverty. We take another voicemail urging us to do more movie reviews, which prompts us to divulge another one of our future plans that probably won’t come to fruition (Hashtag, DXPCruise). We follow up a bit on the topic of minimalism, and then take a tear-jerker of a call about how unique our friendship apparently is. We discuss a recent study that suggests that Trump voters are in fact as horrible as we suspected they were, after which we launch into our Feeding Friendsy segment which is both about, and elicits, eyerolls. Jason is biebered by standing in line, while Christian’s bieber has to do with proper chair protocol.

Also, I swallowed a bug.

Direct download: 2017_01_18_0133.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PST

Podcast #132: Minimalism and Blackmail

This episode begins with a quick debrief of our “Catholic Lesbian” interview and then segues into a discussion of the Netflix documentary Minimalism, which left Christian wondering whether it was naïve and Jason wondering why more followers of that homeless Jewish carpenter aren’t on board with the idea. We discuss the Golden Globes and La La Land in particular, debating just how depressed the film was intended to make us. We then spend some time breaking down Meryl Streep’s acceptance speech, considering what the next four years will look like with a childish bully in the White House. We then spend some time sifting through the latest reports concerning whether Trump is being blackmailed by Russia and what, if anything, this has to do with prostitutes and urine (turns out, very little). But nothing would surprise us at this point!

Also, relevant celebrity opinions: an oxymoron?

Direct download: 2017_01_10_0132.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PST

Podcast #130: New Year’s, Celebrity Deaths, and the Meaning of Life

We begin our New Year’s episode of DXP with a look back at 2016 in all its glory and shame, with Christian taking the blame for how bad this last year treated so many people. We then reflect a bit on the death of Carrie Fisher, springboarding to the issue of celebrity deaths in general and whether mourning the passing of people we don’t really know is pathetic or legit. We take a call about whether difficulty and trial produce better quality satire and music, and if so, whether this may be silver lining around the dark cloud of a future Trump presidency. Another caller schools Jason on the topic of evolution (how hard can it be? Fish  Monkey  Man, right?). We then squeeze in one final caller whose question focuses on the simple matter of the meaning of life. Christian is biebered by people’s self-obliviousness on TV, while Jason’s bieber focuses on people looking better than they should.

Also, suck it, 2016. Your time is over.

Direct download: 2016_12_30_0130.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PST

Podcast #129: Happy Birthday, Jesus!

Our Christmas episode begins, appropriately enough, with an uplifting breakdown of the story of Rudolph, a tale about a bunch of proto-Nazis whose demand for hegemony is outweighed only by their cold heartless pragmatism (who knew?). We then reminisce about how rad the ‘80s were, what with the whole Cold War and whatnot. We then take a few calls about religion: Do our bad deeds really make us hell-worthy? Do you have to confess every last sin we commit? And would we prefer God *not* to exist, and if he didn’t, what would we do? Our “Feeding Friendsy” highlights the irony of feminists for Trump, while our “Dick Move, God” segment introduces us to a man who’s both “after God’s own heart” as well as after the king’s hot daughter, and he’s got a sack of wiener-bits to prove it. Christian is biebered by unwanted residue clouding his eyesight, while Jason’s bieber reveals how envious he is of celebrities.

Also, the Island of Misfit Toys is a metaphor for Auschwitz. Seriously.

Direct download: 2016_12_24_0129.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:24pm PST