Drunk Ex-Pastors

Episode #175 begins with a reminder of what A-holes we used to be and continues with voicemails about Jesus music, junk food, high prophets, and some helpful career advice. After our break we revisit the issue of female nudity in films and the objectification of women (due to which we will surely get ourselves into even more trouble), addressing the Kevin Spacey and Louis C.K. issues in particular. True Bromance gets apocalyptic, and biebers involve life in the fast lane and everybody Kung-Fu fighting.

Direct download: 2017_11_10_0175.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PST

Episode #174 of DXP originally included a whole bunch of Kevin Spacey crap which we deleted since we would have gotten in way too much trouble. We take a voicemail about a movie which leads into a discussion of the nature of the soul, and then briefly revisit the issue of objectification. Another caller presents himself as the perfect candidate for spiritual mentoring, and our True Bromance segment doesn’t disappoint. Biebers involve showers and tails (not the kind you’re thinking of).

Direct download: 2017_10_29_0174.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:23pm PST

DXP #173 starts with a discussion of how evolution is obviously from Satan, after which we discuss the new “Head Transplant” craze (could this be the way we finally become attractive?). We hear from completely level-headed and non-inflammatory NRA enthusiast Dana Lash, and take a call from a listener who kinda gets it when people call us misogynists. True Bromance shows us Christian’s sacrificial side, and we are biebered by how movies are so damn fake.

Also, are there ab transplants? Get on that, science.

Direct download: 2017_10_26_0173.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PST

This episode of DXP begins with some heartfelt encouragement from one of our favorite callers and then moves on to a voicemail from a listener who agrees with our call for massive voter suppression in this country. We receive a promise of patronage with some strings attached and mercifully (for your sakes) we turn it down. Another caller asks us about how we’d deal with having trans kids (we’d probably still love them), and then we address some pushback we got from our last episode’s remarks about Harvey Weinstein, dealing with questions like whether it is sexual objectification to like seeing boobies. Our “True Bromance” segment shifts gears this week, with Jason allowing Christian to read portions of his journal aloud while mocking him, which segues into a lengthy discussion about relationships and loneliness. Christian is biebered by the discomfort he feels while eating tacos (!), while Jason’s bieber has to do with dogs and the people who own them.

Also, did we mention the tuh-tays?

Direct download: 2017_10_21_0172.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:34pm PST

Episode #171 of DXP is a bit of a disaster. Well, maybe it’s not too bad, but it was recorded a day late, way too early in the day, with minimal liquor, and with one of us feeling like he’d recently had open-heart surgery or something. Anyway, we begin the episode by lamenting how damn cold it was down in that subterranean bunker we call a basement, after which we turn our attention to Hollywood’s very own sexual predator, Harvey Weinstein. After listening to a recording of him attempting to coax a young woman into his hotel room, and after making it clear that we think he is a total pig, we discuss the complexities of power in cases like this: If it is consensual is it still wrong? What role does “innocent until proven guilty” play? After our break we discuss Trump’s recent insistence that the outright persecution of those holding Judeo-Christian values in this country has to stop (insert eyeroll here), and then we take a couple voicemails about such topics as family/social-media dynamics and Slim Jims. Jason is biebered by restaurant furniture, while Christian’s bieber has to do with wasting time on television (not people wasting time watching it, because that would be ridiculous. It’s something else).

Also, “All Holidays Matter.”

Direct download: 2017_10_15_0171.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:33pm PST

Episode #170 of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with a heartfelt plea to change a minor detail about our show, which only confirms for us the need to keep things exactly as they are. We then seek to clarify, again, our use of the phrase “easier said than done,” which is easier said than done. We turn our attention to the “price of freedom,” otherwise known as the largest mass shooting in modern American history, discussing such topics as “Why doesn’t freedom cost this much in any other free country?”, and “Is it disingenuous for gun-rights advocates to ask for suggestions to heal this epidemic?” After our break we go into our “True Bromance” segment in which Christian reveals how he really feels (or used to feel) about Jason’s religion. Christian is biebered by desperately needing an item which could make Jason rich if he weren’t so lazy, while Jason’s bieber betrays just how metro he really is.

Also, One of us apologizes in advance for how mad he is about this whole gun thing. Seriously.

Direct download: 2017_10_07_0170.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:35pm PST

Episode #169 of Drunk Ex-Pastors begins with our usual banter and shot (singular this time because, apparently, liquor and Oxycodone don’t mix that well [who knew?]), after which Jason is challenged about his insistence that “Easier said than done” actually applies to literally everything. We take a call from a listener making the absurd suggestion that trucks should not be passed on the right, after which a voicemail from one of our favorite fans gives Christian the chance to give us a debrief on his recent heart surgery. After our break we discuss the life and death of Hugh Hefner, wondering aloud whether he and the industry he helped create is exploitative of women, or just awesome. Our True Bromance segment displays Christian’s former zeal for holiness and gives rise to a discussion about whether people who are still that zealous after all these years are just faking it. Christian is biebered by old people’s listening skills, while Jason is biebered by the implicit message behind being given a Kleenex.

Also, truckers should totally have their own schools and drinking fountains.

Direct download: 2017_09_30_0169.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:41pm PST

Episode #168 of DXP was recorded a couple nights before Christian went under the knife, but will be released just after his heart surgery (meaning these may be the last words from him you’ll ever hear if God decides to ignore your prayers and kill him for no reason). We explore the topic of what we are to think about white teenage girls singing along with hip hop music (does it mitigate their feminism?); we discuss Colin Kaepernick’s protest against racism and brutality and whether a boycott of the NFL is in order (as if anyone would actually do it). Our “True Bromance” segment returns in the form of a letter from Christian to Jason from 1993 in which we learn, among other things, why French Toast tastes so good, and our “Feeding Friendsy” segment touches upon the nature of coincidences. Jason is biebered by being conned by con movies, while Christian’s bieber is about little things that annoy him greatly.

Also, seriously: Don’t take away Christian’s heroin.

Direct download: 2017_09_18_0168.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PST

Episode #167 of Drunk Ex-Pastors finds us both home from vacation (Christian from Mexico and Jason from Europe). After catching up a bit with one another about our time apart (who, us with mutual attachment disorders?), we talk about the recent hurricane in Texas, the victims of which evangelist Joel Osteen decided not to help (our take on this may surprise you). We then begin to experience numerous technical difficulties including batteries dying, damsels calling in distress, a power outage, and a poorly timed rock show. Our “Mansplaining Match” segment focuses on overly narcissistic selfies, “True Bromance” features Christian straight-up preaching at Jason about female beauty, and “Feeding Friendsy” involves missing the forest for the cheerleaders. Jason is biebered by airline protocol, while Christian’s bieber has to do with coppertops.

Also, pig valves. That’s still a thing, right?

Direct download: 2017_09_16_0167.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:41pm PST

This is the description you get when Jason is in Europe and Christian has to write the description and has better things to do with his short life.

Direct download: 2017_08_28_0166.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm PST